Kristy's Book

The portrait collections are an interesting part of the BSC universe. They're supposedly an autobiography written by the narrator. SMS loves assigning giant ass english projects apparently. Although come to think of it, I remember writing an autobiography in third grade. The teacher typed them up for us. This was back in the 80s when typing something up on the computer and printing it out was a Big Deal. I remember getting mad at her for fucking with the punctuation. Example: I wrote about my baby blanket. When she typed it, she put that the blanket was "pink with a design on one side!" Bitch, that doesn't need an exclamation point, and there wasn't one in the source material. Type it how I wrote it. I was an angry third grader apparently. Anyway, the portrait books. Each portrait collection has four or so stories about the girls as they grew up. There are six of them: Kristy, Claudia, Mary Anne, Stacey, Abby, and Dawn. The sixth graders do not get them.

I basically hated Kristy's Book. The part after her dad left especially. Elizabeth left a 10, 8, and 6 year old home alone after school, and had lists of chores for them where the ten-year old was in charge of bathing the baby every night. I mean call me paranoid but I think she was lucky the kids didn't burn the house down or get seriously injured.

Then in the next story, Kristy goes to softball camp, and it is repeatedly stressed that she is an awesome shortstop and she is left handed. And those things just don't go together. You can play shortstop OR be left-handed. And it annoys me.

Imagine how awkward this throw to first would be if you were throwing lefty.

Then the last story is lifted from the plot of the BSC movie, and it's not that compelling of a read. Kristy's dad comes to town! And he only wants to see her! But eventually it turns out he is a giant flake! And he leaves again! After giving her a glove that he got free from an awards banquet, but he tries to pass it off as a gift, but it's not even a left-handed glove. But Kristy's stepdad gets her a lefty glove. Because Kristy is left-handed! And a shortstop!

Yeah.