#8, Boy-Crazy Stacey

I love the early books. They were the ones I read over and over and over again when I was a kid. This one was a favorite. Unfortunately my first copy of it didn't survive the years so I have the new cover version and it looks wrong because this book should be yellow. The cover shows Scott the lifeguard patching up a cut on Claire's foot. He is meant to be eighteen, but in the picture he looks like he's in his  mid-30s. Stacey and Claire are wearing beach coverups in the picture, so we do not get to see the bikini Stacey describes to us as being very skimpy.

All of you with the classic yellow cover are agreeing with me here. It just looks wrong.

The reason Stacey is at the beach is that the Pike parents can't stand their kids, so they've hired Stacey and Mary Anne to come along on their vacations as mother's helpers. Stacey's a little nervous because she knows Mary Anne the least of any of the girls in the BSC, and she hasn't been away from her parents since her diabetes diagnosis. Oh, and the part where she'll be watching eight kids for two weeks.

Mary Anne and Stacey go over to the Pike house the day before the trip to talk to Mrs. Pike about their expectations. Mrs. Pike tells them that even though she and the Mr. don't believe in making rules for the children or forcing them to do things they don't want to do, they are very strict about not allowing them to go in the ocean when no lifeguards are on duty. This is basically the only rule they have in Sea City. These are the same people who Mallory will complain about constantly in later books because they treat her like a baby and never let her do anything.

Stacey's mother is nervous about Stacey going away for two weeks. It's so weird to read the books before Stacey's parents get divorced and her mom and dad are working together to be overprotective and annoying. Stacey tells us that when she arrives at the Pike house, Mary Anne and her dad are both crying. This strikes me as out of character for Richard, but at the same time, I'm sure it's one of the few times she's gone away from home without him.

The Pikes are taking two cars for the trip, and they're talking about trying to stay together and what to do if they get separated, and it just makes me think of how much things have changed since this book was written, because these days both parents would doubtless have cell phones and it wouldn't be a big deal if they got separated.

There is a whole chapter of them driving to Sea City and the kids actually squabble instead of playing lame car games and having a singalong or something. Margo gets a little carsick but doesn't throw up, which is nice because in later books she basically barfed constantly and nobody wants to read about that.

Oh and when they get to the beach house the parents have one room, the boys have another, Margo and Claire share, Vanessa and Mallory share, and Mary Anne and Stacey share. Mallory tells them that if they don't like the room they've been given, they can trade with someone or there are lots of empty rooms on the third floor. If there are so many empty bedrooms why do all the kids have to share? I don't understand. You'd think at least the older ones would want a little space for once.

The next chapter is when Stacey catches her first glimpse of Scott. You have to imagine that with little hearts around it and stuff, because Stacey is completely and totally convinced that Scott is the cutest and most interesting guy in the entire world. The next day while she is supposed to be watching the Pike kids at the beach, she is checking out the lifeguards instead. She eventually goes over and talks to "the hunk" and finds out that his name is Scott, he is eighteen, and he will be starting college in the fall.

The Pike Parents go out to a romantic dinner and Mary Anne and Stacey take the kids out to eat at Burger Garden and it is not as boring as babysitting chapters usually are. My favorite bit is when the kids are squabbling over who will sit where and Stacey says, "A six foot mouse has been waiting for five minutes for us to sit down," because I can totally picture the person in the mouse costume being completely annoyed already just seeing 10 kids walk in with no adults and fight over table arrangements. Then they go out on the boardwalk and out for ice cream. This book is one of the first where Vanessa is going through a "rhyming phase" and again it's not nearly as obnoxious as in later books where she speaks exclusively in rhyme. She only does it some of the time.

Also there is a part where Mr. Pike is cooking breakfast and Stacey has to tell him what she can and can't eat of the food he's preparing, and she can't have cheese omelet because it's "processed cheese" and this reminds me that in at least one other early book, Stacey had to have a burger instead of pizza because she couldn't eat the cheese on pizza because of her diabetes for some reason. But then later in the series she could.

Anyway the next day Stacey is busy hanging around the lifeguard stand talking to Scott and basically ignoring Mary Anne who is doing most of the work taking care of the Pikes. She brings him sodas and makes him sandwiches. I don't really understand why she's making him lunch but I'm old and cranky and wouldn't be bringing soda or sandwiches to any 18 year old who is perfectly capable of packing a lunch. At the end of the day, Scott gives Stacey a present: his lifeguard whistle.

The next day is rainy and Mary Anne and Stacey take the kids to play mini-golf and again, it's not all that boring for a babysitting chapter. I totally feel the annoyance of the people in line behind them as Claire takes a billion strokes on each hole.

The next chapter, on the other hand, is a random throw-in of Kristy sitting for her sibs back in Stoneybrook and I skip it every single time I read this book because it does nothing but break up the flow.

Mary Anne and Stacey get a night off and go out to dinner and then hang around the boardwalk and ride the ferris wheel and it sounds like fun. Mary Anne is really patient with Stacey as she picks out a present for Scott, but after they come out of the store with it, they see Scott making out with a girl, and Stacey bursts into tears and leaves the box of chocolates on a bench.

The next day Stacey pretends to have a headache so she doesn't have to go to the beach. Byron stays home with her and they go for a walk and talk about why he's afraid of the ocean and this is basically the scene that makes it clear that Byron is the sensitive triplet, which in fanfiction translates to Byron being the gay triplet. Seriously, in all the BSC fanfiction I have read, he is always the gay triplet. Mind you I haven't read anything near all the BSC fanfic that's out there, but I've read enough to know.

A couple of days later, Stacey is at the beach with half of the Pike kids while Mary Anne takes the others to Trampoline World and to play miniature golf again, and she meets Alex, a guy mother's helper who has been hanging out with Mary Anne quite a bit. She also meets Alex's cousin Toby, who is fourteen and is dressed in cool clothes and seems to like her too. Alex and Toby go on a double date with Mary Anne and Stacey on their night off, and they have a great time, and Toby wins a teddy bear for Stacey and gives her her first kiss. It's hard for Stacey and Mary Anne to say goodbye when they see the boys on the beach the next day, which is their last in Sea City, but they have to, and Mary Anne manages not to cry in front of the Pike kids. Stacey also says goodbye to Scott.

Back in Stoneybrook, Stacey sits on the back porch and drinks iced tea and tells her parents about her vacation, and then she calls Mary Anne to chat and finds out that Mary Anne and Alex got $5 rings engraved with each other's initials. Then of course Stacey has to call Claudia and tell her all about everything that happened, because that is what best friends are for.

M #13, Mary Anne and the Library Mystery

You guys, that is TOTALLY smoke coming from behind the bookshelves and not glare on my scanner. That kid looks scared because s/he is wearing enormous yellow boot shoes and knows s/he won't be able to run away very quickly. S/he'll either lose a boot shoe or be clomping along at a grandmother/fatherly pace. DRAMA. This book has it in spades.

This book starts out with Mary Anne watching Roman Holiday and bawling her eyes out. Yeah. I'm wondering if I should add a generic Old Movie tag, but that would basically be as helpful as a Baby-Sitters Club tag. She tells us she doesn't just like old movies, but also likes the latest music and TV shows, but I am unconvinced.

On page 3, we get a Wizard of Oz reference. Mary Anne tells us that the downside of being sensitive is that much like at the end of the film when the Tin Man says, "Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking," being sensitive leaves her open to not just wonderful feelings but also unpleasant ones. I guess. She misses Dawn who is in California and Logan who is very busy at school with a big volleyball tournament coming up. Logan likes sports, you see, so that means he is on every single sports team at the middle school. Except maybe the basketball team.

Mary Anne reads the whole newspaper because she's bored and lonely. She says she likes to read the birth announcements to see if any babies have been given especially nice or especially weird names. I do that too! Unfortunately she says the names that day are all boring and normal, because I would like to see a ghostwriter example of a weird Stoneybrook name.

Meeting time! Mary Anne goes early, because she's bored. At the end of the chapter, Claudia's mom wants to hire someone to help out with the Readathon they're going to have at the public library, and Mary Anne leaps at the chance. It will be perfect because she loves books and kids. Mary Anne meets the two librarians. Ms. Feld is the main children's librarian. Miss Ellway is new, and Mary Anne takes an instant dislike to her. She says she knows she shouldn't judge people so quickly, but she does, and again I really can't blame her because I do that. Plus, Mary Anne is totally insulted when Miss Ellway assumes she'll have to show MA how to use the card catalog. Bitch, Mary Anne has been able to do that since she was eight years old.

The readathon is going to raise money, because the kids have solicited sponsors who will pay them for each book read. So after each book, the kids have to answer a few questions on it to make sure they actually read it.I would have raked in cash for the library, I tell you what. Mary Anne has a busy first day and sees a lot of the regular BSC clients, which is nice, because usually the mysteries introduce a character or family and use them in exactly one book. Mary Anne helps kids pick out books and use the card catalog. This book is getting pretty dated in that respect, because card catalogs are going the way of the cassette player. Of course a bunch of the Pike kids are hanging around the Readathon, because the Pike Parents are not going to turn down an opportunity to get some of their spawn out of their hair for a while. Byron is excited about checking out books but Nicky is apathetic. In other books all the Pike kids love to read, so I'm not sure what his deal is in this book.

There is a part in this book where Jessi goes over to bring Nicky Pike to the library and Claire and Margo are playing dress-up. Margo is wearing a long nightshirt that "must have belonged to her father." I do not want to picture Father Pike in a nightshirt. I do not know if you can even still buy nightshirts for men anymore. Could you when this book was published? Do you know any men who wear nightshirts? Maybe I am just misinformed.

There are protesters outside the library. They want to ban books. This is a Very Bad Thing. Mary Anne tells us that she reads books with bad words in them, but it doesn't make her want to say the words. Mary Anne also tells us that her dad lets her read whatever she wants. For some reason I can imagine Mary Anne being really into V.C. Andrews.

Kristy gets a job helping Rosie Wilder with the Readathon. She's supposed to help her sign up sponsors and take her to the library because her parents are so busy. There's a really weird part where Rosie doesn't want to talk to the neighbors because she doesn't know what to say, so Kristy helps her write a script and then Rosie dresses up in a sailor dress and pinches her cheeks to put color in them and goes around the neighborhood. Kristy says the neighbors can't resist her, but I am assuming they are just willing to spend any amount because they are afraid for their lives when a creepy little sailor suited child comes to their door with dead eyes and rosy cheeks. Anyway this means Kristy is at the library a lot too so she can help Mary Anne investigate.

Investigate? Oh, right, this is a mystery. There is a fire at the library! It is in one of the bathrooms, and gets put out before the kids can even all be evacuated. A week later, there is a second fire, in a trash can. This fire is bigger, and they have to evacuate all the kids. The BSC decide that they need to solve the mystery. Claudia's mom gives them some information. They find out that books were burned in both fires. They suspect Miss Ellway, because the land the library is on was donated by her ancestors with the provision that if the library is ever destroyed or shut down, the land goes back to the Ellway family. They also suspect the book burning protesters. Then one day at the library, some matches fall out of Nicky Pike's jacket. He swears they aren't his, and Mary Anne and Kristy believe him, so they don't bother to tell an adult or anything. Well, they do tell Mallory, who is basically his mother, and she interrogates him for an hour, but in the end she believes him too. Nicky becomes a junior investigator on their arson case. Rosie Wilder also wants to help solve the mystery. Now that I think about it, that might be her on the book cover, because she is supposed to have thick red hair and glasses.

There's another fire at the library, in a trash can. Mary Anne sees Miss Ellway running toward it with a fire extinguisher so she crosses her off the suspect list. The BSC investigate the other members of the Ellway family and discover that they are all nice people. Miss Ellway's brother owns a hardware store and his grown daughter runs a dog kennel and his grown son has a huge mansion. Nice people are incapable of setting fires, clearly. Then they investigate the protesters by pretending to be doing an article for the school paper and by following them around. Claudia announces that the protesters all have no fashion sense. When Claudia is making fun of your fashion choices, you have crossed a line that you can never un-cross.

Mary Anne realizes that the books that have been burned are all on the fifth grade reading list, so they decide to stake out the library since all the other fires have been on Wednesdays.  Kristy is mad that Claudia and Stacey are not blending in to their surroundings as well as she would like.

Claudia was wearing a big white shirt over a bright pink jumpsuit. Her earrings, also bright pink, were in the shape of flamingos. On her feet were pink high-tops. Stacey was wearing a red miniskirt, a red-and-white striped top, red heart-shaped earrings, and short black boots.

Mary Anne points out that Claudia and Stacey would look more conspicuous if they were trying to blend in. I really don't see what Kristy is so upset about, because those were really reasonable outfits as far as Claudia and Stacey are concerned.

At the library, they catch Sean Addison in the act of burning a book in another trash can. He explains that he doesn't want to read and feels like his parents don't care about him and just shove him into every activity they can think of. Mary Anne says she doesn't agree and that the Addisons seem like good parents. I guess she didn't read the book where the Addisons pushing their kids into fifty million activities so they could go do their own thing was basically the entire subplot. At any rate, I think burning books is a bit of an overreaction to not wanting to be in a readathon. Why couldn't he just look for pictures of naked people in National Geographic and look up dirty words in the dictionary like any normal bored ten-year old in a library?

The mystery is solved and Mary Anne decides she might keep volunteering at the library on occasion. There's an award ceremony for the readathon. Nicky Pike wins for the third grade. Apparently he has been faking boredom at the library and doing all of his reading at home to surprise Mary Anne because she got him interested in reading. Aww.

This one isn't too bad, as far as the mysteries go. At least they aren't out chasing adult criminals. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go drink until the image of Papa Pike in a nightshirt is gone.