LS #76, Karen's Magic Garden

This book has a plot that is really obviously something that is happening in a book. I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's how it comes across. Sometimes Karen has realistic adventures, like breaking her wrist roller-skating, and sometimes, well, there are books like these.

It is an ex-library copy, but the front cover isn't in too bad of shape. There are due date stamps and random crap on the back cover though.

Mommy's family is totally having a family reunion, and they will be traveling to Maine, which is apparently where Lisa grew up. In this book we discover that Mommy's parents have moved to Maine. At least that explains why they never show up in any book after Karen's Witch (Grandma Packett is at the gardening club meeting that Karen and Hannie crash to accuse everyone of being witches). The family will be going up four days before the reunion and staying with Lisa's Aunt Carol and Uncle John, who of course have a big sprawling manor that can easily accommodate houseguests. Lots of Lisa's relatives will be there, most of them one-book characters whose names are unimportant. The ones who will show up again are Lisa's sister Ellen, her husband Mark, and their kids Diana and Kelsey, who are seven and four like Karen and Andrew. This book is the first time Karen and Diana ever meet. In fact, Karen is a little surprised that she even has a cousin her own age. I find this endlessly fascinating, because Lisa and Ellen seem to get along just fine once they're in the same room. I wonder if they had a falling out and that's why their kids have never met. Maybe they really don't get along, but since the book is from a kid's perspective you don't see it. Maybe life just carried them in different directions and before they knew what happened, seven years had passed. Lisa's parents used to live in Stoneybrook, remember. Did Ellen not get along with her parents, so that she never visited for any holidays or anything? I may end up writing some fanfiction about it, because there are so many possibilities.

Traveling to Maine by car takes up a chapter and a half where Karen whines about being bored and how it's annoying to have to use one's indoor voice in the car.  Also they stop for fast food and Andrew gets a "cool eraser" in his Junior Meal and Karen gets a ruler, and they amuse themselves with those for a while. And I mean I know you wouldn't want licensed characters or anything, and I should just be glad that they didn't get Wizard of Oz toys, but random school supplies sounds like the lamest kid meals ever.

When they arrive at Great-Aunt Carol and Great-Uncle John's house, Karen and Diana meet, and are instant besties, because Diana is also loud and full of energy. Andrew and Kelsey also hit it off when Kelsey reveals that she has a pet frog named Prince Caliber. The kids (there are like six more of varying ages but who cares) are going to sleep on a screened in porch in sleeping bags. This is the most exciting thing that ever happened. The next day Karen and Diana explore the grounds (and this place is freaking gigantic) and find a vegetable garden, a little gazebo, and more. The adults are all working on a big family tree and trying to fill in names and pictures on it. Then they all go out to eat and Andrew has fried clams which he loves but Karen doesn't like. The next morning when the kids wake up it is raining.

This right here is where the book goes from something that could happen into completely obviously something that would only happen in a book territory, FYI. The kids decide to explore the house, and one of the 12-year olds leads them up into the attic where there are trunks of old clothes and boxes of old toys, because that's what people in BSC books keep in their attics. Nobody just has holiday decorations and maybe some boxes of college memorabilia surrounded by itchy insulation. They have fully finished attics with old as hell clothing that their kids can just try on when it rains. And nobody in BSC land cares if kids unpack boxes and strew the contents about, either. Karen and Diana find some diaries and take them downstairs to read them. They were written by a long ago ancestor named Annemarie, who was nine years old in 1892. Her cousin Polly was visiting, and Annemarie showed Polly the "magic garden" and then Polly's mother died and they made memory boxes to open together the next summer. Karen and Diana are captivated because Annemarie and Polly were "twin cousins" just like them. They don't know what the hell the talk about the magic garden is, though. It doesn't mean the vegetable garden, because that is referenced elsewhere in these apparently quite detailed diaries.

When the rain stops Karen and Diana get permission to go outside again and look for the magic garden, and they find it. Karen says it's not big, but it's surrounded by brick walls and has at least three benches, a fountain, and two statues in it. They run to get the adults and show them, and Great-Aunt Carol announces that she never knew this was here.

HOW THE GODDAMN HELL DO YOU NOT KNOW THERE IS A WALLED IN GARDEN CONTAINING A FOUNTAIN, BENCHES, AND STATUARY ON YOUR PROPERTY?! HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

I mean let's say that during the Great Depression, the gardener had to be let go because even such a grand estate couldn't afford to keep him on. There would still have to be someone maintaining the lawns at least a little bit, right? Because otherwise the whole property would be overgrown and probably filled with creepy critters, right? And the vegetable garden is still in use, and the gazebo. How did an entire walled in garden get forgotten?

Anyway the kids and adults work together to clean up the garden, which is overgrown, but clearly next spring/summer there will be roses and various other things that they see evidence of.  Karen and Diana make secret wishes, and Karen's comes true. She wished to have a picnic on the beach like Mommy used to when she was little, and that's exactly what they do. Then Aunt Ellen gives Diana a bracelet that was packed in the wrong suitcase by mistake, and it turns out that finding the bracelet was Diana's wish.

The next day there is work to be done with getting ready for the main part of the reunion, and the next day is the big family reunion. Tons more aunts, uncles, and cousins come, and they wear matching T-shirts and play games and eat. Karen and Diana both eat way too much and get stomachaches.

This makes sense because I know that I, too, am helpless to resist when faced with bowls heaped with delicious scribbles.  Heck sometimes I even go back for seconds on scribbles.

All the relatives who come have brought pictures to fill in the family tree the adults were working on, and after they all leave, there is only one blank spot, where Polly's mother's picture should be. The next day Karen and Diana go back into the attic and of course they find more journals. They were written by Annemarie again, ten years later. It turns out that she and Polly never saw each other again. Karen and Diana realize that the memory boxes may still be in the garden. Of course they find them behind some loose bricks. There are lockets and some other crap in the boxes, and in Polly's is a picture labeled "Mama". When the girls show the boxes to the adults, Great-Aunt Carol ceremoniously takes the ONLY DAMN SURVIVING PHOTOGRAPH OF POLLY'S MOTHER AND GLUES IT ONTO THE FAMILY TREE. The archivist in me cringes every time I read that paragraph. Then Karen and Diana get to keep the rest of the crap from the boxes, and they make new boxes and hide the to hopefully open the next summer when they hope to return to Maine, even though this is the first time either of their families have been there in at least seven years.

So yeah. That's this book. It is not very realistic. Thankfully the RNG realized I would need a break after this one, because it rolled up The Truth About Stacey next, and I love that book, so yay.

#42, Jessi and the Dance School Phantom

This is probably my favorite Jessi book. I know a lot of people think Jessi has the most boring books, but I always liked them well enough. I think part of it is that her family seemed like nice, regular people who enjoyed each other's company.

The book opens up with Jessi auditioning for the lead role in her ballet school's production of Sleeping Beauty. Since Jessi is the best 11-year old ballerina in the world, she obviously gets the lead role. Daddy is really excited for her and he buys ice cream for dessert to celebrate her accomplishment, but Jessi only eats a tiny bit of it, because she has to watch what she eats so she won't get fat. Being fat is the Worst Thing in Baby-Sitters Club land, like that part in Winter Vacation (Super Special #3) where some boys on the bus are singing a mean song about a fat girl, and not only is this presented as a normal thing to do, the next sentence is a snotty line about how the song didn't stop the girl from eating three Snickers bars on the ride home. So clearly Jessi does not want to get fat.

On the first day of rehearsals, Jessi's toe shoes disappear from her bag and she has to go in without them. It is completely embarrassing for her and makes it impossible for the rehearsal to go on. When they go back into the dressing room, the toe shoes have magically reappeared in Jessi's bag, which aside from being confusing is also pretty embarrassing. And then after the rehearsal when they go to change, there is a slip of paper with the word BEWARE written on it.

The next rehearsal, Jessi brings a whole spare outfit, to avoid a repeat. Then she works her ass off to show Mme Noelle that she is serious about working hard and the toe shoe thing was just a fluke. When she goes in to change after rehearsal, though, her spare outfit is missing from her bag and there is another note, written in red letters, that says WATCH YOUR STEP.

Jessi spends her baby-sitting money to buy a whole new dance outfit, and a new dance bag that she can lock. This is one of the things I always remember about this book, the locking dance bag. The rehearsal goes well at first, but then Jessi botches the landing on a tour jeté and twists her ankle badly. She won't be able to dance for several days. The worst part is it turns out she wasn't even supposed to be performing that particular move. She hadn't heard what Madame said, and one of the other girls in her dance class had given her the wrong instruction. When Jessi goes in to change, she finds another threatening note. This one says TOLD YOU SO. FROM NOW ON, WATCH OUT. Then she has to sit out one rehearsal, and after that one, finds a note that says IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE. TOO BAD IT WASN'T.

Jessi talks to her friends, and they suggest they come watch the next rehearsal. The rehearsal is going to be in the auditorium, and Jessi thinks that if they sit in the back maybe no one will notice their presence. This seems extremely unlikely to me, because while the back of the theater will be dim if the house lights are off I doubt it'd be pitch black enough that they wouldn't be spotted at all, and secondly a group of middle school girls is not exactly the quietest thing in the world, but this is BSC land. Charlie drives them all to the auditorium. This is the other part of the book I always remember, because his car doesn't even have enough seat belts for all the girls, and some of them are sitting on each other's laps, and I don't know why their parents allow it, and then I also wonder what Charlie is going to do in Stamford for the time the girls are watching the rehearsal until he has to pick them up again. Maybe hang out at the mall or get a bite to eat I guess. Why doesn't Charlie have anything better to do on a Saturday?

Jessi's friends manage to hide in the theater seats. Jessi can't even spot them when she looks for them. This despite the fact that Dawn has brought a tiny flashlight to take notes with. If you're on a stage looking out into a dark auditorium you'd probably notice a flashlight beam, I'm just saying. On the ride home, the girls talk it over and come up with a short list of suspects in Jessi's class. At no time does the idea of telling an adult come up, even though Jessi has received threats and hurt her ankle.

Jessi's stolen leotard is returned to her dance bag, cut to shreds. To me this is the creepiest part of the book. There is a lot of hatred involved in stealing something, destroying it, and returning it so the victim knows exactly what you did. She gets some more notes. She gets shoved into some wet paint. She almost gets taken out by a piece of falling scenery. She has also eliminated two of the three suspects on the BSC list and is left only with a girl named Hilary.

There is a bit where Jessi is helping Aunt Cecelia with the dishes and has an idea about how to expose Hilary and she exclaims out loud. Aunt Cecelia asks her what's going on and Jessi says nothing, because she hasn't told her aunt or parents about all the danger so as not to worry them. I personally think this is the exact wrong kind of message to send to kids reading these books. If someone is sending you threats and almost knocking you out with scenery and destroying your possessions, tell an adult. Don't leave it all to  your group of middle school friends.

Jessi gets Hilary to incriminate herself by asking her to make a sign about a wet floor, which Hilary obligingly does with the red calligraphy pen she has been using to write the threatening notes. Hilary is not a winner in the brains department obviously. Hilary has been trying to scare Jessi because Hilary's very pushy mother is upset that she didn't get the lead. Hilary is very upset to be caught and begs Jessi not to tell Mme Noelle. She'll stop doing nasty things and she'll pay Jessi back for the leotard she ruined. Jessi agrees to this. Jessi is not a winner in the brains department this day either.

Opening night! All of Jessi's friends come to see her dance.

Claudia looked extremely cool and exotic, as usual. Her hair was braided with silver ribbons, and she wore a shimmery dark blue minidress. On her feet were silver sandals, with laces up the calves -- kind of like toe shoes.

Jessi dances and the show goes extremely well, and she gets roses from her family and friends. Hilary announces that she is quitting dance.

The subplot in this book is that the BSC is having a pet show for the kids they sit for. At first they're worried because it is causing some conflict among the kids, especially siblings who don't want to share pets, and kids who are bragging that their pet is the sure winner. Becca is worried because their family pet is a hamster and she's sure Misty won't win anything because she's not a cat or dog. At the very end of the book, Jessi comes up with the totally obvious brilliant idea that each kid who enters should get a prize. The pet show is a roaring success and none of the kids' pets try to eat each other, which is very realistic. There is a list of some of the prizes they give out and Pow the basset hound wins "shortest legs." Which probably should have been "shortest legs in proportion to size" as there were at least two hamsters entered and I very highly doubt Pow had shorter legs than they did. Misty the hamster wins best overall pet and Becca is very pleased.

LS #92, Karen's Sleigh Ride

This is another one I got toward the end of just trying to finish up my collection and have only read once, but I did actually remember one of the plot points.

This book starts out with Karen, Hannie, Andrew, and Emily making Christmas crafts at the big house. Karen and Andrew are spending December there, and even though it's only December 2, the kids are totally excited about all things Christmas, except Emily, who only wants to talk about presents. Karen and Hannie try to teach her some Christmas carols, but they're interrupted when Kristy comes in with some bad news. The Stones' barn has burned down, although luckily none of their animals were hurt. Karen's pretty upset, because she went to farm camp at the Stone farm. (LS#75, Karen's County Fair) Karen offers to share her bedroom with Ollie the lamb if he needs a place to stay, but her family are a bunch of jerks and say no. Then she suggests they could have a barn raising like she saw on TV. Everyone will bring food and spend a day building a new barn. Again, Karen's family are a bunch of jerks who have to ruin her brilliant plan by pointing out that nobody knows how to build barns anymore. Daddy does say he'll call Mr. and Mrs. Stone and offer to help.

It turns out that the Stones were underinsured, and won't have enough to rebuild their barn. Daddy says they might have to sell their animals or move to a smaller farm, and everyone is really upset by this, although probably not as upset as Mr. and Mrs. Stone. Karen and Kristy go to try and think up ways to help, and Emily comes in and starts trying to get into Kristy's dresser to look for presents. Then Karen comes up with a plan and calls a family meeting. She says everyone but Nannie is there, because Nannie has decided to give Emily a bath. But since Nannie is the only person not present, I guess she'll have to wait for Emily to get out of the meeting to commence the bath.

Karen's brilliant idea is that they can have a winter festival at the Stones' farm. They can have snowman making and ice sculpting contests, skating on the pond, sleigh rides, refreshments, and general merriment. The Stones agree, and they all put in a ton of work to get ready. Karen helps Kristy and some of her friends clean Mary Anne's family's barn to temporarily house the Stones' displaced animals. She informs us that Mary Anne's stepmother feeds them lunch of all natural turkey hot dogs on whole wheat buns, and they are "all right." I guess Karen isn't much for whole grains. Karen also helps Sam and Charlie fix up the Stones' old sleigh to use for the sleigh rides. And she and her classmates make signs about the festival during art class. A lot of other people are volunteering to make refreshments and things. This festival is a lot of work.

There is a meeting and between some funds that have already been raised and the projected outcome of the festival, they will have raised about $5000. Karen thinks this is a lot, but it turns out that it's only about half of what the Stones need to rebuild the barn.

The night of the festival arrives, and tons of people crowd onto the Stone Farm to take part in the action, such as it is. The festival is one of those things that sounds nice in theory but once the people arrive and eat a refreshment I don't really know what they're doing after that. Milling around and making there be too many people in a small space I guess.

Karen, Hannie, and Nancy win second prize in the snowman contest with their snow bunny. Claudia wins third prize. I guess being the best thirteen year old artist only gets you so far when you're competing with Karen Brewer. First prize goes to a contestant who made a snow angel. I know this probably is meant to imply that they did angel wings on their snowman and made a snow halo, but I'm going to just pretend that the winner flopped down and made an actual snow angel. Then they go on a sleigh ride. Then there is a little ceremony where Watson has Karen present a check to the Stones. Karen feels sorry that they couldn't do more, but when Mr. Stone looks at the check it is the exact amount they needed to rebuild the barn.

When they are taking things down and getting ready to go, Karen overhears some people talking. It turns out that they really didn't raise enough, but Watson paid the difference out of his own pocket but didn't really want to make a big public deal out of it. (That's the part of the book I remembered.)

Emily has still been talking about presents the whole book, and she trashes Karen's room looking for presents. Karen yells at her but then remembers that Emily is just little and it's really hard to wait for things when you're little, so she gives Emily a few small presents in the days leading up to Christmas. Little things like a tennis ball with Emily's initials written on it and a barrette Karen doesn't wear anymore. It's really quite thoughtful of Karen. Also, I know I say this a lot, but seriously, how cute is Emily?