#86, Mary Anne and Camp BSC

I have a few more Little Sister books with Seth's parents upcoming but it's summer so I wanted to do a book where the BSC holds one of their camps.

The book starts with Mary Anne and Mallory babysitting for the Pikes. The kids are being really wild but do not do anything actively gross. When Mary Anne goes home they have supper with three-cheese macaroni that's a recipe Dawn made up, and garlic and onion toast that Mary Anne made. It is supposed to sound really good but I hate homemade mac and cheese and garlic toast so the meal just sounds kind of gross to me. Richard announces that his law firm has merged with another firm and he'll be traveling more, starting with a two week trip to Cincinnati in July.

The baby-sitters realize that there is a three week gap between the end of school and the start of most camps and YMCA activities in the area, so they decide to hold a day camp in Mary Anne and Dawn's backyard for a couple of weeks and give it a circus theme. Shannon quotes a line from the Wizard of Oz.  The club signs 22 children up for the camp. There are a bunch of kids from Karen's class at school as well as a bunch of kids the club usually sits for.

One of the kids, Alicia Gianelli, is four years old and has separation anxiety about being away from her mother. Mary Anne feels sympathetic toward her and spends a bunch of time with her, even staying with her while the other kids go to the park. The club announces the circus theme to the kids. Karen and her friends start acting superior because they've been to a real circus camp before. Karen in particular acts like a little brat about the entire idea and doesn't want to participate.

Richard leaves on his trip to Cleveland. Nothing is mentioned about why he is now going there instead of Cincinnati. Some of these later books weren't edited particularly well. Sharon has decreed that she and the girls will have a great time while Richard is gone. They rent stupid movies and throw popcorn at the screen during the bad scenes. Mary Anne misses her dad and really doesn't enjoy the movies or the mess.

The BSC campers take a field trip to the Stones' stupid farm, well, except for Alicia who stays with Mary Anne. Mrs. Stone gives the children a tour of her farm and tells them about the animals and some of the crops she grows. Everything goes well until they get to Elvira the stupid goat, who chews a strip off of Claire Pike's t-shirt. I don't know why I hate a fictional baby goat so much, but I really, really do.

Richard has been gone for four days, and the house is a mess. Sharon has been ordering takeout every night. FOUR NIGHTS YOU GUYS. She and Dawn tell the delivery people to not pack the food in Styrofoam or send plastic forks, so they have to use their own utensils. Three people have already managed to go through all of the silverware the family owns, then dig out the "good silver" and start using that, even though it is explicitly stated that they had pizza one night. I think maybe the family could use a few more forks, is what I'm getting at. Mary Anne tries to clean the house and does "about a thousand loads" of dishes in the dishwasher which is frankly fucking ridiculous. After four days where the girls are at camp and Sharon at work during the day, and they eat takeout at night, how many dishes can there be? Cereal bowls and breakfast dishes, maybe. Some plates and the aforementioned silverware from suppers. Glasses. But there really shouldn't be many pots and pans or other dishes, so I don't know how Mary Anne can be doing so many dishes.

Karen is a bratty little shit some more and bitches about the circus camp not being a real circus camp.

On Friday night, the end of the first week of camp, the sitters have a cookout for the campers. They serve turkey dogs, coleslaw, and baked beans, because Dawn will eat turkey dogs but not beef or pork because, well, because these books were really inconsistent about whether Dawn was actually a vegetarian. Then they take the kids in the barn to tell ghost stories. Some of the kids have brought pajamas to change into and pretend it is a real campout. This is the scene depicted on the cover. Mary Anne looks cute. I'm pretty sure Jackie Rodowsky is the kid next to Karen but I don't know who the others are supposed to be.

Mary Anne, Logan, and Dawn are going to ride their bikes to the lake and have a picnic, but Mary Anne wrecks and scrapes herself up badly, and of course, badly sprains her ankle. I should add a sprained ankle tag, there really is one in about every third book. Mary Anne wants her dad to come home but he can't and she feels really lonely and sorry for herself.

The campers go to the bowling alley, except for Alicia who stays with Mary Anne. Alicia kind of wants to go bowling but Mary Anne doesn't realize it. She's still babying Alicia. The bowling chapter is pretty boring. The next day Alicia wants to go to the park and after she goes, Mary Anne realizes that she's been acting like a baby and refusing to have fun with Sharon and Dawn because she misses her dad. She has a talk with Sharon and tries to embrace the remaining time before Richard returns. They go to a double feature at the drive-in.

The circus dress rehearsal is a disaster because Karen and her asshole friends have spent so much time bitching about the circus that they didn't rehearse their acts. The club has to work quickly to rework some of the acts so they don't seem completely terrible. Of course since the BSC is amazing, the circus performance the next day goes off without a hitch.

Mary Anne, Dawn, and Sharon clean the house because Richard is due home. They do a "gazillion" loads of dishes and laundry, which again, pretty impressive when you've not cooked anything at home. Mary Anne has a long talk with her dad and he tells her to try to loosen up and enjoy herself more. You know, because that's a thing that a man who alphabetizes his socks would say. Then I guess Mary Anne probably does another hundred loads or so of dishes.

LS #67, Karen's Turkey Day

As you may have noticed I've been doing a lot of Little Sister books with Seth's parents in them because I was wondering about them and wondering, like, if Seth is close to them and if he's an only child and whether they were disappointed when he left the farm. Naturally these questions are not fully answered in books aimed at 6 year olds, which is cool with me, because I can try to read between the lines and make up my own little back story for Seth and his parents.

Karen arrives at the Little House for November and is told that Mommy and Seth have made reservations to stay at a hotel in New York City for Thanksgiving, and they will be able to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade from their hotel windows. Karen is like OH SHIT YES THIS IS AWESOME and I'm like "You've got to be kidding me, this shit again??"

Here's the cover. There's a scene in this book that wasn't even interesting enough to make it into my recap where Karen's class at school makes decorations for the old folks' home. This is Karen and Ricky with their decorations. I kind of dig Karen's vest.

Seth has been working late a lot and he has also been getting a lot of calls from his parents. Grandad can't work because of the heart attack he had in book 63 and he and Granny are bored and lonely. Mommy and Seth try hard to convince Granny and Grandad to come for a visit, but Granny and Grandad are resistant. They don't know anyone in Stoneybrook, after all, and as Seth points out they've lived on their farm for four decades. I wonder how old Seth is. I wonder if the farm is not the first place Granny and Grandad lived after they got married, because they seem older than early/mid 60s to me.

Finally, Seth convinces his parents to come visit, not just for Thanksgiving but to stay until the beginning of January. Karen is very excited for this visit. She helps Mommy transform the den into a guest bedroom for Granny and Grandad. They stayed in the upstairs guest room last time but Mommy says Grandad isn't well enough to climb the stairs this time. I think this is the first mention ever of the Little House having a guest bedroom. That makes four bedrooms upstairs, and downstairs has the den/office space. That's really not what I picture when I think of a little house, although I suppose Karen is comparing it to Watson's Real! Live! Mansion! At any rate, they continue to prep the den to be the guest room. Seth gives their old sofa to the Salvation Army and gets a used sofa bed from somewhere. I don't know why, if they already had a guest room, they didn't just move the bed downstairs for the month and a half Granny and Grandad would be there. I just called and asked and my mom said there was no way she would sleep on a sofa bed for six weeks, and she is not as old as Seth's parents, either. Seth brings two tables from work to put in the room, and Andrew draws a turkey and glues it to a popsicle stick for decor. Karen adds a string of construction paper pumpkins.

The family picks up Granny and Grandad at the airport. It looks like Granny cut her hair dramatically shorter than last time we saw her, but no mention of it is made in the text. I looked at the picture of her from #10 and I guess her hair is under a handkerchief, so it could have already been short. I don't know why I thought it was in a bun. Maybe it was an illustration I didn't scan. Grandad looks older and more frail than Karen remembers, and Granny and Grandad announce that they will not be going to New York City with the family. They will for some reason, having flown halfway across the country, make themselves Thanksgiving dinner in their son's home while he is out of town. Lisa and Seth are like "Suit yourselves."

One day Karen comes home from school and shows Grandad her schoolwork and they go for a walk around the neighborhood and it's nice, but the next day, when Karen comes home from school, Grandad yells at her not to brag about her schoolwork and not to run around in the house. Karen goes in her room and cries and Granny comes and explains that Grandad is sick and not used to children and didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Karen understands.

Seth keeps having late nights and after some discussion, Lisa decides she will go to work helping him out in his shop. Granny will take care of the house. Grandad will help where he can, considering he's still weak and sick. Ha ha, just kidding, nobody gives a shit how he feels, he's in charge of watching the children.

Grandad watches Karen and Andrew because Granny is soooo busy all the time running errands. I don't understand how this can be because it's not like Lisa had to leave the kids with a babysitter every night to run the trillions of errands that keep the little house running smoothly. I think it's mostly for plot purposes so that Karen and Andrew can spend some time with Grandad. He plays quiet games with them and makes them chips and cheese in the microwave.

Two days before Thanksgiving, Lisa and Seth decide that they are going to cancel their plans and stay home with Granny and Grandad. Karen is bitterly disappointed. I'm like "Yup, this shit again." I added a tag for the parade because this has to be at least the fourth time we've seen this exact plot and I know of at least two more upcoming.

Karen and Granny go to the supermarket but because it's two days before Thanksgiving, the store is sold out of almost everything. There isn't even a turkey they can buy. Granny decides to serve chicken wings instead. They also buy some canned goods and frozen pumpkin pies. I think this is probably the most disappointing part of the whole thing, because if Lisa and Seth had canceled their plans earlier instead of at the last minute, I bet Granny would have made an amazing dinner.

Nancy tells Karen that her family is not visiting their relatives after all so Lisa invites the Dawes family to eat chicken wings with them for Thanksgiving and they accept.

The day before Thanksgiving, Karen rounds up the neighborhood kids and makes them practice being in a parade. Thanksgiving morning, she watches the Macy's parade on TV, then goes outside and marches with her friends. Bobby's father videotapes it for all the parents.

Here is what I wore to lead the parade: red tights, blue shorts, white T-shirt, jean jacket, and a pair of Granny's white gloves. I put one of Nancy's party hats on my head. And ZI draped a banner over my shoulder. It said Happy Thanksgiving inside a beautiful glitter border.

I could totally picture Claudia wearing the exact same outfit. Here it is in all its glory:

Andrew is dressed up as a Pilgrim. Some other neighbor kid is dressed up as a pirate, which has nothing to do with Thanksgiving but the kids were trying to copy the Macy's parade which has a lot of characters unrelated to the holiday.

Karen's family and Nancy's family have a lovely and fun Thanksgiving day together. Grandad says he is glad to be with his family, even though he had to leave his farm, and Karen is glad that Granny and Grandad have come to visit her family.

This book has a couple of cute scenes but mostly it is boring and the recycling of the we're-going-to-see-the-parade-oh-wait-we-aren't plotline makes my score a 3/10.

Foods eaten in this book: hamburger, mashed potatoes, green beans, Krispy Krunchy cereal, peanut butter and jelly on crackers, crackers, cheese, sliced apples, grape juice, meatballs, spaghetti, corn chips with melted cheese, fresh squeezed lemonade, vegetable lasagna, salad, chicken wings, canned cranberry sauce, canned lima beans, canned sweet potatoes, stove top stuffing, pumpkin pie, chocolate chip cookies, vegetable soup, leftovers.

LS SS #2, Karen's Plane Trip

I don't usually do the super specials because all the storylines make them a pain in the butt to recap, but the early Little Sister specials were pretty much slightly longer than usual regular books with activity pages at the end.

In this book, Karen is going to fly all by herself to Nebraska to visit Seth's parents on their farm. She is packing and Mommy asks if she needs help, but she wants to pack all by herself. For some reason Mommy just lets her and doesn't check her suitcase, which seems a little silly to me. As independent as Karen is, she's also only seven years old.

On the day of the plane trip, Karen gets dressed up in a party dress and all her plastic rings from the dentist and her family takes her to the airport. This is the scene depicted on the cover. Seth has made her a bag to take on the plane with coloring books and stuff, and Karen also has a flight attendant assigned to help her. The plane chapter is fairly boring. Karen sits by two adults who are working and actually has enough manners to leave them alone. She gets to see the cockpit and eats an in-flight meal.

When the plane lands in Nebraska, Karen is greeted by Granny and Grandad, who are driving an old green-and-white pickup truck. Karen is very judgmental of the pickup truck. She assumes that Granny and Grandad's car must have broken down, which is why they are driving it. But no, the truck is Granny and Grandad's. Later on, when Grandad has his heart attack in Karen's Movie, Mommy, Karen, and Andrew all ride in the truck with Seth. I did some research when I did that book, because I would not expect Granny and Grandad's old rusty pickup to be a crew cab. According to Wikipedia, "Through the 1980s, most crew cab pickup trucks were sold as heavy-duty (3/4 and 1 ton) models intended for commercial use, and custom vehicle builders such as Centurion built light-duty crew cabs for the personal-use market." So I'll stick with my assumption that it was a regular cab and continue picturing it as identical to my dad's pickup, Old Green, pictured above.

Karen is very judgmental of Granny and Grandad's house. She notices that it needs a new paint job and that the porch is sagging. She is crabby when she finds out there is no TV and no air conditioning. She convinces herself that there are probably snakes living under the porch. She is even judgmental that Granny and Grandad have the nerve to not own a cordless phone. She calls home and begs to go home, but Lisa and Seth tell her no. Then she gets sent to bed at 8:30 and bitches about that, even though Granny and Grandad are also going to bed and I don't know what the hell she was planning to do if she stayed up since she hates everything about the farmhouse.

The next morning Karen dresses up in another party dress because, like she told her mom on the phone, she packed mostly fancy clothes. This is why an adult should have supervised her packing. When Granny mentions that they won't have eggs and milk until after the eggs are collected and the cows milked, Karen bitches that Granny should just go to the 7-Eleven. She is aghast to find out there is not one within thirty miles. Granny asks Karen to take off her party dress and feed the chickens, which pisses Karen off even more. Karen gets a tour of the farm and is rude about that, too. Granny and Grandad's neighbors have a daughter named Tia, who is about Karen's age. She comes over to meet Karen, but Karen is a total cow to her because she has a boy's bike and short haircut and Karen thinks she looks like a boy.


By this point in the book, I just want to smack Karen. She knew full well she was going to visit a farm, because in Karen's Grandmothers, Granny wrote letters to Nancy and included photos of the tractor and the barn cat and Karen already knew about them, and that book was published a year earlier. So, for some reason, despite knowing that she was going to a farm, Karen packed a bunch of party dresses and judged the hell out of the truck, the farmhouse, the neighbors, and everything else. She deserved to be unhappy, because she was being a rude little brat.

The next morning Granny asks Karen to help her in the vegetable garden. She shows Karen the plants she is growing and helps Karen pick ingredients to make a salad to go with supper. Karen actually enjoys this and starts to enjoy the routine of the farm.

On a rainy day, Granny teaches Karen to knit and then Tia comes over. Probably because her parents made her, because I don't know why she would have wanted to see Karen again after what a jerk Karen was to her the first time they met. This time, though, Karen is bored because of the rain, and she greets Tia enthusiastically. She and Tia invent board games together. After Tia leaves, Karen asks if Granny can take her to buy some overalls. She is sick of being the only one in dresses or good pants.

The next day Granny takes Karen to town. It's a small town and Karen wonders where the video rental store, the toy store, the pet shop, and ice-cream parlor are. Karen, clearly, has grown up in Stoneybrook where every item has its own dedicated shop. She has not been introduced to the wonders of the small town gas station/convenience store/bait shop/tire and lube/liquor store/video rental. They go in the store and Granny finds overalls for Karen. Then they eat lunch at the diner in town.

Granny lets Karen invite Tia for a sleepover on Saturday night. The girls play together and sleep in hammocks on the front porch. The next day, Karen wants to pick a bunch of vegetables and set up a roadside stand. Granny agrees but tells her not to pick too many because most of the people who live nearby have their own gardens. Karen and Tia sit out in the sun all day and make $2.59.

A few days later, the chicks hatch. Tia comes over and the girls watch the hatching. Karen names the fluffiest chick after her new friend Tia. The day before Karen leaves, Tia comes over once again and they invent board games. Grandad gives her a ride on the tractor. Karen makes one last very special salad to eat with supper. Then she gives gifts to Granny and Grandad. She knitted Granny a whole scarf after the one knitting lesson Granny gave her. It's purple and pink stripes and she knitted it as a surprise. I don't know where she got the yarn without Granny suspecting anything. She's written an eight-stanza poem for Grandad.

On the flight home, Karen spends the whole time talking to the man sitting next to her, and introduces him to her family at the airport. Then she tells her family all about the trip.

Overall, I like this book, even though Karen is a giant brat for no reason in the beginning. Granny and Grandad seem like nice people and they enjoy having Karen visit them. My score: 7/10.

Here are some of the activity pages in the back of the book.  Luckily nobody wrote in my copy. The activity pages are stupid because they ruin the book if you do them and are a waste of space if you don't.

Foods eaten in this book: orange juice, toast, fruit, bacon, juice, salad, salad dressing, cookies, lollipop, corn on the cob, chicken, popcorn, cherry pie.

LS #10, Karen's Grandmothers

Ms. Colman announces to Karen's class that they have the opportunity to participate in the adopt-a-grandparent program at Stoneybrook Manor. Anyone who wants can sign up to be paired with a resident and they will visit twice a week after school apparently forever. That seems like a lot of visits to me, honestly. Eight times a month. Karen is massively excited though. Because of her parents' divorce, she has four grandmothers already: Grandma, Granny, Neena, and Nannie. If she has another from the adopt-a-grandparent program, she will have five, which she is sure will set some sort of record.

Neena is Watson's mother and this is pretty much the only time she is mentioned in the series. It's been established that Watson lives in his ancestral home, because Ben Brewer's room is upstairs. I assume that his mother lives in a retirement community in Florida or something and gave/sold the house to him after his father died, or possibly around the time he married Lisa? I mean I guess there's nothing to say that Watson's father couldn't still be alive, but he's never mentioned even once. Anyway, Watson was probably older by the time he got married the first time, in which case he would be ready to settle in with the house and was probably already settled into his role as CEO of Stanford Unity Insurance (I think this is his job title.) Speaking of Watson and Lisa, I've always figured he was at least 10 years older than she is. He almost has to be, right? In Kristy's Great Idea, she says he's older than Elizabeth, and Elizabeth has high-school age kids.

Nancy does not want to have an adopted grandparent, even though she has no living grandparents. Nancy confesses to Karen that she is afraid of old people, especially really old people who use wheelchairs. Karen thinks that is stupid. She is certain that Nancy needs a grandparent, so she writes a letter to Granny, Seth's mother who lives in Nebraska, asking her to be Nancy's pen-pal grandmother. The letter spanned two pages, so I cut and pasted them together for you, sorry for the image quality. Note that Karen uses lower-case letters here. Later in the series she just prints in all caps all the time, which I don't really understand. By second grade, would a teacher allow someone to write in all capital letters? Karen skipped a grade (sometime I will post about that in particular) so her fine motor skills are probably a little behind her classmates but even so, you'd think the teacher would want her to at least attempt lower-case.

Karen's mother reminds Karen that she already has a lot of after school activities and twice a week is a pretty big time commitment for visiting the Manor, but signs the permission slip anyway. Karen's adopted grandmother turns out to be an old white-haired woman named Esther Barnard, who tells Karen to call her Grandma B. She likes to do things like play classical music and make Karen learn to dance the foxtrot. Karen starts to not look forward to their visits, because she thinks Grandma B is Grandma Boring. She misses a visit because of a Krushers practice, then another because she has an earache.

Meanwhile, Granny has enthusiastically answered Karen's request to be Nancy's pen-pal. She sends Nancy pictures of the farm and the tractor and the barn cat. Karen's a little jealous because Granny didn't send her any pictures. Then Granny sends Nancy some mittens with her name knitted into them. Karen is jealous of this too.

I couldn't believe it. Well, that just wasn't fair at all. Granny knitted me a pair of mittens with my name on them last year. I had thought that my Karen-mittens were very special. But I guess not. I guess Granny knits name-mittens for any girl who comes along.

Karen has a chat with Nannie and Nannie tells her that she loves all of her grandchildren the same amount, but for different reasons, and the reasons have nothing to do with whether they are biological grandchildren or not.  Karen feels better, and stops being jealous of Nancy's letters from Granny. This picture amuses me because Nannie is always described as not seeming very old. She wears pants! And goes bowling! So, in this picture, she is wearing the old woman-est shirt that ever was, with her hair in a bun, while knitting. Wow! She doesn't look old at all!

Karen's class at school is going to put on a program for the people at Stoneybrook Manor and also make them gifts. They cover soup cans with paper for the men and make macaroni necklaces for the women.  Those are terrible gifts, right? I don't just think so because I hate children? The macaroni necklaces all hit the trash can seconds after the kids left the manor, right?

Karen, Hannie, Nancy, and Ricky decide they will recite scary poems for the residents at the manor. Nancy is still terrified of going to the Manor, even though she wants to be an actress when she grows up. Her fear of old people overrides her desire to perform.

Here is a picture of the kids dressed up to recite their scary poems. I kind of love Hannie's dress. Nancy's dress is meh. Karen's dress is fug. Ricky has worn his suit, because in these books, little boys wear full suits or at least slacks and a blazer.

Karen introduces Nancy to Grandma B. They start to talk and Nancy invites Grandma B to come spend holidays at her house, because Grandma B, like Nancy, is Jewish. Nancy likes the classical music and dancing the foxtrot. She takes Karen's place in the adopt-a-grandparent program, and Karen signs up for gymnastics lessons instead. So now Nancy has a pen-pal grandma and an adopted grandma. Grandma B actually does show up later in the series and spends time with Nancy's family, which is nice.

This book is all right, if a little boring. My score: 6/10. Also, the only food consumed in this book was punch and cookies.

LS #29, Karen's Cartwheel

Karen is excited because some of the kids in her gymnastics class are going to be chosen to be on an invitational team. Karen is absolutely positive that she will get to be on the team, because she loves gymnastics and wants to perform in malls while people clap for her. Unfortunately, Karen can't do a cartwheel, even though everyone else in her class can. This doesn't stop her from having super lame fantasies about Daddy bringing the whole family to watch her do gymnastics in a shopping mall and everyone crying with pride. Karen practices her cartwheels over and over.

Here's the cover. Karen has pulled her hair into a side ponytail to help her balance on the beam. Smart thinking, Karen.


When the teacher announces the class members who have made the team, she says there are three kids. After she announces the first two, Karen waits for her to open her mouth again, then leaps up and yells "Yay I made the team!" only to discover that the teacher had called some other kid's name. Karen is embarrassed. I am entertained. Here is a drawing of that shining moment:

I love it.

Karen becomes obsessed with the idea that if she can just perfect her cartwheel, she'll be able to join the team. She is kind of obnoxious about it.

Meanwhile, Daddy has taken Karen and her friends to the toy store at the mall, where they fell in love with some dolls and really wanted them, but their parents won't buy them. Karen, Hannie, and Nancy start an odd-job business to earn money. They make signs to hang up in their neighborhoods. Daddy hires Karen to dig up dandelions from the backyard. Then on a weekend, he pays the girls to clean out the garage. Mrs. Porter sees the girls cleaning Watson's garage and hires them to clean hers, too. Karen, naturally, is kind of an asshole while cleaning the garage, taking the four brooms in the garage to be proof that Mrs. Porter is a witch. She also declares that a book they find is a book of spells.

Karen remembers that her gymnastics teacher lives in the neighborhood, so she shows up at the woman's house uninvited to show her how good she is at cartwheels now, and when that does not earn her a spot on the team, she asks to be hired to do odd jobs. Her teacher agrees. Karen shows up at 8:30 the next morning and digs up dandelions, walks the dog, sweeps the driveway, and waters the garden. Then Karen decides that since she did all that work, she doesn't want to put her money in the communal pot to buy the dolls with Hannie and Nancy. Hannie and Nancy, naturally, are a little annoyed at this because they have all agreed to pool their money. They have a brief fight but make up and then do a few more jobs until they have $41 to buy the matching dolls. They name them Merry, Kerry, and Terry, and then the Doll Sisters are mentioned in the Little Sister books off and on until pretty much the end of the series.

Karen is still upset though, because she is not good enough at gymnastics to be on the invitational team. Mrs. Porter sees that she is upset and asks what is wrong. Karen explains. Mrs. Porter says that Karen is good at a lot of things, and it's okay if she is not the best at everything. She shows Karen a picture of herself as a youngster (from the photo album which Karen had previously decreed to be a spellbook) and says that she was good at ice skating but always wanted to be an actress. Karen realizes that she can't be the best at everything she tries.

Karen has another gymnastics class and they get to watch the kids on the invitational team. Karen realizes she was not good enough at gymnastics to be on the team, like her teacher has been telling her all along. But she still enjoys gymnastics and has fun with the other kids in her class.

Overall, this book isn't really good or really bad. My score: 5/10.

Foods eaten in this book: pizza, ice cream, Orange Julius, popcorn, M&Ms, corn on the cob, fish, salad, peach.

#23, Dawn on the Coast

I have fond memories of this book. One day in fifth grade, my mom took me to the eye doctor in the middle of the day, and afterward, we went into the bookstore and bought this book, which had just come out. I took it to school and a few other girls were jealous that I had it because they didn't have it yet. It doesn't sound like much but for some reason, the memory has always stuck with me.

The book starts out with Dawn packing for a trip to California to visit her father during spring break. She hears her mom get home and "I could hear her kick off her shoes in the living room, drop her purse on the couch and her keys on the kitchen table. That's my mom, all right. I love her, but she is a little on the disorganized side." Judgmental much, Dawn? None of that seems egregiously disorganized to me.

Dawn is a little worried about leaving her mother all alone, but Sharon assures Dawn that she will be fine, because she has her parents (Granny and Pop-Pop) nearby and also is going on a date with the Trip-Man, who basically exists in this series for Dawn to whine about because she wants her mom to only date Mary Anne's dad. Like, in this book, she describes Trip-Man as "a real conservative type. Tortoise-shell glasses, you know what I mean?" First of all, no, I had no idea what she meant when I read this at ten years old. Secondly, being conservative is bad? Dawn, have you met Richard Spier?

Dawn goes to a slumber party at Kristy's house and the girls order pizza. Dawn wants broccoli on her pizza and everyone acts like that is the worst thing they've ever heard, although they do end up ordering broccoli on half of a pizza for her. I hate when people get all bitchy about pizza toppings, so I'm actually on Dawn's side here, and I hate broccoli.

On the flight to California, Dawn has trouble with a stewardess who looks like a Kewpie doll (another thing I had zero idea about at ten years old in 1989 when this book was published. I don't think I or any of my friends ever had one.) The stewardess doesn't serve Dawn a drink and messes up her meal, and then when the coffee and tea are served, and Dawn asks for real milk for her tea, the flight attendant gives her two packets of the white chemical stuff. THE HORRORS.

Dawn's dad takes her and Jeff to Disneyland. The first thing Dawn does is buy souvenirs for all her friends, then they go on several rides and attractions. It would probably have been easier to do the rides first and not lug the souvenirs around all day, just throwing that out there. Then, when they get home from Disneyland, Dawn goes over to her California best friend's house and discovers that Sunny has started a baby-sitting club of her own, the We <3 Kids Club. Dawn even takes a baby-sitting job for her old favorite clients.

There's a chapter where Claudia and Mary Anne babysit for the Newtons, their cousins the Feldmans, and the Perkins girls while their parents go out somewhere together. This is the second appearance of the Feldmans in the series and as far as I know it's the final one, which is too bad. (In their first appearance, Kristy threatens to punch Rob Feldman's lights out, which is not a thing she would say later on.) It's not a very interesting chapter.

Dawn's father takes Jeff, Dawn, and some friends to the beach. I guess this is the scene pictured on the cover, although in the book, Jeff tosses a sand crab on Dawn's lap instead of splashing her with a bucket. Dawn has a great day at the beach and thinks about how she really feels like she's at home in California. Then Dawn babysits for Clover and Daffodil Austin. Dawn informs us that their parents were flower children, which she thinks means hippies. Mrs. Austin is a weaver who works out of her home. I bet their whole house smells like patchouli oil, just saying. Mrs. Austin suggests that Dawn take Clover and Daffodil to a little carnival that is set up nearby. Clover likes the pony rides and Daffodil wins a pink stuffed animal at the ring toss. Dawn realizes she's gone the whole day without thinking of any of her friends or family back in Connecticut.

There's a chapter where Jessi babysits for Kristy's siblings, and Karen wants to play Let's All Come In. The boys don't want to play but Jessi says she'll play. There's nothing in the dress-up trunk to fit her, so Karen says they'll have to go upstairs in Ben Brewer's room and get some antique clothing for Jessi, because that's what people do with antique and vintage clothing in these books, is allow their kids to unpack old trunks and ruin the clothes. Karen gets freaked out because someone has written "TURN BACK!" in the dust on the stair railing and left an ominous note in the clothing trunk. Jessi deduces that it was Sam who did these things, but she makes no effort to tell Karen that, instead letting her think that it is proof the house is haunted. Great baby-sitting right there.

Dawn goes to another meeting of the We <3 Kids Club and thinks about how California is much more her style because the kids are more relaxed and eat health food. She wants to stay in California forever...or at least, maybe she does. She goes home and talks to her dad about staying, then makes a list of pros and cons about California vs. Connecticut.

Another random chapter where Kristy and Mallory babysit the gross Pikes. Mrs. Pike orders them to feed the kids canned ravioli and homemade coleslaw for lunch. That combination doesn't even sound good. Even Byron, the fatty triplet, complains about it. Adam mixes the two foods together and announces that they look like snake guts. I don't know why ravioli and coleslaw mixed together would look more like snake guts than any other kind of guts, but I guess it does. The triplets are being mean to Nicky and Nicky is upset. He talks to Kristy and says he misses Dawn. Dawn kind of misses him, too.

Dawn makes her decision. She is going to go back to Connecticut. When you even miss the gross Pikes, it is clear that your home is now Stoneybrook. She calls her mom and cries and tells her that she had considered staying, which doesn't surprise Sharon at all.

On the flight home, Dawn is on a flight with the same flight attendant who ruined her last flight, so she moves across the aisle to another section. Sharon brings the whole baby-sitters club to meet Dawn at the airport. She is glad to be home.

I don't even hate Dawn in this book and I enjoy reading all the descriptions of the things she does on her vacation. My score: 7/10.

Mystery #10, Stacey and the Mystery Money

This is one of the mysteries I don't particularly care for. I'd say it's because young teenagers have no business trying to investigate counterfeiters, or because the plot is contrived, but really, the more I do these recaps, the more I realize I just find Stacey boring except in the book where she quits the club and the book where she goes to a concert with girls who sneak wine in their socks.

Stacey is going to babysit for her favorite kid, Charlotte. They are going to go downtown and have lunch and do some shopping. Charlotte is very excited about this and feels very grown-up. They go into the Merry-Go-Round and Stacey finds some earrings she wants, but when she goes to pay for them, the cashier thinks the $10 bill Stacey gives her is counterfeit. She calls the police.

This is the scene depicted on the front cover. First of all, I always pictured the Merry-Go-Round as a much more casual type of shop, not a gold-jewelry-locked-in-glass-cases place. Secondly, what the hell is Charlotte wearing? Is this what the illustrator honestly thought 8-year olds were wearing in 1993 when this book was published? I mean, yes, the text does say that Charlotte is excited about the lunch and shopping and is a little dressed up, but she looks like she's dressed to step into a time machine and go to 1953 to eat.

The cops show up and ask some questions and say that the bill is fake and that Stacey will need to come to the station with them. Then and only then does Stacey call her mother, and it's only because she wants her mom to watch Charlotte until her parents are done with work. Stacey's mother is like "sure, whatever, take my minor child to the station with you and interrogate her without her parent or a lawyer present, that's fine." This is a stupid move on Stacey's mother's part, I'm just throwing that out there. Charlotte  is really upset because she thinks Stacey is getting arrested. Stacey tries to reassure her but it doesn't really work. Stacey goes to the police station and tells her story several times.

Kristy babysits a new client, Georgie Hoyt. Georgie is 8 and has an older brother and sister, twins who are in 8th grade. The twins are named Terry and Tasha. Stacey has a crush on Terry, and apparently he likes her back, because he invites her on a date. While she's babysitting for Georgie, Kristy finds a school ID with Tasha Hoyt's picture on it but a different name, but doesn't know why it might be there. 

The club has a special Saturday morning get-together (at which Claudia is wearing tie-dyed pajamas) and Kristy is kind of a cow to Stacey.  She's worried that news might get out to their clients that one of them passed a fake bill, and it would be bad for business. I don't know why I even like Kristy, because she is really kind of a bitch to most of her friends a lot of the time. The club decides that they will try to solve the counterfeiting mystery, to clear Stacey's name.


At school on Monday, the girls use lunchtime to go to the library and research counterfeiting. While they are there, they see Alan Gray and a couple of other boys standing by the dictionaries and snickering. Kristy rolls her eyes and says they're probably just looking up dirty words. This little detail is amusing to me.

After school, the club goes to the public library and also to the police station. The officer they speak with at the police station tells them to stay out of it and let the professionals catch the criminals. This is sound advice which naturally is ignored completely. 

Jessi babysits for Becca and Charlotte. Charlotte is still worried about Stacey so Jessi tells her about what the club is doing and Charlotte wants to help. I mean it's goddamn stupid enough that 11- and 13-year olds are trying to catch criminals, but dragging 8 year olds into it is not a quality I would be looking for in a babysitter.  Jessi, Charlotte, and Becca stake out copy machines around town because they think the counterfeiters may be making copies of money on copy machines in public places.  They see one of the teachers from the middle school using a copier and remember that Stacey had seen him the other day, which makes him a suspect. You know, because teachers have utterly zero reason to use a copy machine aside from being counterfeiters. It's not like they might need to copy anything for class, amirite?

Stacey goes on her date to the movies with Terry, and afterward, they go out to eat with Mary Anne and Logan. Stacey notices that Terry references living in at least half a dozen cities, and she thinks he might have said different middle names when introducing himself to her mother and then to Mary Anne. Who introduces themselves by their full name anyway is what I want to know. Then Mary Anne and Logan leave, and Stacey's ex-boyfriend comes in with his new girlfriend, which is awkward.

At the club meeting, Kristy says that she thinks the Hoyts are the counterfeiters because they've lived a lot of places and Georgie didn't want her to open a closet in their house when she sat for him. Everyone but Stacey is like "oh, maybe".

The girls follow their english teacher around school and spy on him because this book is stupid. And long.

Stacey babysits for Charlotte again and they go stake out copiers and then they leave and see a man running through a parking lot and he drops a bag that is filled with counterfeit money. For some ungodly fucking reason, Stacey decides that the person to call in this situation is not the cops, but her friends and Terry Hoyt. The kids all come and wait in the parking lot for the counterfeiter to come back for the money and then they take his photo to give to the police. Because that is a much better idea than calling the police in the first fucking place. At least Stacey has the brains to take Jessi up on her offer to take Charlotte to her house to play with Becca instead of staking out criminals.

Terry Hoyt tells Stacey that they don't need to take the photo of the bad guy to the cops. They can just take it to his dad. It turns out his dad is a Secret Service agent who moves from place to place investigating counterfeiters. The pictures help him catch the criminal, he lectures Stacey for getting involved in the first place (THANK you), then Stacey says goodbye to Terry (real name: David Hawthorne) and he kisses her and the Hoyts move away.

Good lord this book is fucking stupid. And boring. My score: 1/10.

LS #30, Karen's Kittens

This book starts out with Karen being bored on a rainy day. She's at her mom's house playing Go Fish with Andrew. Then there is the chapter where she tells us about her families. Then it is a weekend at her dad's house, and she has a really boring night there, too. I'm not just being an ass about it, either. Literally, in the book, Karen is complaining that she is bored and describing how there is nothing going on. I don't know who thought it would be a good hook to start a story with three boring chapters.

Finally, that Saturday morning, the interesting parts of the story start. Karen sees a grey tail going into the toolshed and goes to investigate. Look how long her hair is in this illustration. I think this may be the longest-haired Karen in any of the illustrations I've seen thus far. Also, she appears to have worn Charlie's shirt by accident, that thing is enormous. When Karen looks in the shed, she sees a grey tiger striped cat, which is apparently the only kind of cat in Stoneybrook, because don't Boo-Boo and Mary Anne's stupid kitten match this description? Watson tells her that the cat is going to have kittens and has probably chosen their toolshed to do it because it is a private space, or it was till Karen found it. Karen brings the cat some food and water. She states that she does not ask Boo-Boo before bringing some of his food to the other cat because he would probably say no. You know, because cats can talk.

Karen names the mama cat Growly, because it growls at her. I would make fun of her for picking crap names, but to be fair, she's just a little kid. My niece tried to name my cat Sharp Claws (although she was four, not seven.) Growly has five kittens in the toolshed. Karen thinks they are kind of ugly because she expected them to look like TV kittens. Watson explains that the kittens will get cuter after the first couple of weeks. Karen goes up to her room and uses her crayons to make birth announcements for the kittens to give out to her family and friends.

Here's the cover. Karen is playing with the kittens and again, her hair is really long.

Karen begs to keep one or all of the kittens, but both of her parents tell her no. Watson does tell her she can find homes for the kittens when they are old enough. This book (like a lot of the early LS books) has hardly any scenes at Karen's mom's house, and also skips over several weeks. The kittens are born, then the next time we read about them, they're a month old, then they're eight weeks old.

Karen, Hannie, and Melody play with the kittens in a featureless void. I don't like Melody. I wish Amanda had never moved away, because I'm sure she would have had something to say about the relative merits of free kittens vs. $500 Persian cats.

Karen's first idea to get homes for the kittens is to set up a table, put the kittens in a box, and make a sign that says "FREE KITTENS." Soon the yard is full of kids manhandling the kittens, but none of the kids can take a kitten home. Then when Karen wants the kittens put back in the box, one of them is missing. Karen throws everyone but Hannie and Melody out of her yard so they can find the kitten.

Karen's next idea is to take photos of the kittens in to her class and ask if anyone can have one. Natalie "Droopy Socks" Springer says she can have a cat, and chooses the one she wants. Karen promises to bring it over the next day. Mommy drives her over to Daddy's house so that Charlie can drive her to bring the kitten to Natalie, but when they get there, it turns out Natalie can't have a kitten after all. Her parents told her she could have a pet but they meant something like a turtle or guinea pig. Charlie drives Karen and the kitten back to Daddy's house where she explains what happened, then Charlie drives her back to her mom's house. It would probably have been more efficient for him to drop her off on the way from Natalie's, just saying.

Karen remembers that when Mommy and Seth wanted to sell their couch, they invited over several people who wanted to buy a couch, and sold it in one day. Why they knew multiple people who wanted to buy a couch I don't know. Maybe it was just a time of couch shortage in Stoneybrook and they were taking advantage. This anecdote makes me glad that I live in a time where I can sell my couch on Craigslist, no couch-sale party necessary.

Karen hands out invitations that basically say "Do you want a cat? Will your parents allow you to have a cat? Bring a parent to a kitten party and get a kitten!" Nancy's parents read the invitation and call Karen to ask her to set aside a kitten for Nancy as a surprise, because they can't come to the party but want her to have a cat. A bunch of people come to the party, and all of the rest of the kittens are adopted. One of them is adopted by Melody's family, because their cat died the year before and they had wanted to get a new cat. This is weird because in the regular series books, Melody's baby sister Skylar is terrified of cats. Karen goes over to Melody's house and Melody and her mom tell Karen that she can share the kitten and visit it whenever she is at her dad's. The kitten will never be mentioned again, either in the LS or the regular series.

Growly the cat runs away, and Watson tells Karen that she is a wild cat and needs to be free. I kind of wish that they had gotten Growly fixed because the next people whose toolshed she has kittens in may not be able to find homes for them. And yes, I understand that this is not really Watson's responsibility, but neither was providing for the kittens and finding them homes, and they did that.

Karen takes the final kitten to Nancy's house and Nancy is absolutely thrilled. She tells Karen that the kitten can be half Karen's. Karen tells us that having half a kitten at Nancy's and half a kitten at Melody's is perfect for a two-two. Gag-gag.

Foods eaten in this book: "a big plate of hamburgers and rolls and lots of gloppy stuff to put on them" (yes, it says exactly that in the book. Yes, it sounds gross. No, I don't know if the gloppy stuff was on the same plate with the hamburgers and rolls.), Fruity-Os, popcorn, pretzels, raisins, carrot sticks, juice, soda.

My score: 3.5/10

#74, Kristy and the Copycat

It is the best time of the year, by which obviously I mean Opening Week for the MLB season.  Go Rockies! It is a week where you don't even care if your team sucks, and you find yourself watching parts of games between teams you'd never watch otherwise. Marlins-Nationals? Orioles-Rays? Cubs-Pirates? Hell, why not, baseball is back and I'm going to get my fill! Also, with Twitter and streaming video, it's easier than ever before to catch highlights and know which games are worth looking at for at least an inning or two.

Anyway, I knew that I needed a softball book for this time of year, even though the Krushers are the stupidest thing in the Baby-Sitters Club series.* Seriously, the only thing dumber than the Krushers is the Bashers. The Krushers are kids who are too little or sucky for Little League, right? Including a two year old, because that's a thing that would happen. And they rarely beat the Bashers because the Bashers are older and better, right? Well, then, why the hell aren't the Bashers in Little League? And who did they play before Kristy made her team to face them? And then later when they make the Krashers which is the best players on the Krushers and Bashers and they travel to other towns, why aren't THOSE kids in Little League? But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, I suppose.

This book starts out with Kristy riding home on the school bus thinking about how she's felt a little blah lately. She describes her family, of course. She says that her parents divorced when she was eight years old, which is wrong. She was six.

Chapter two, club meeting, and Claudia is wearing an outfit:

Today she was into big: a big yellow shirt with red X-shaped buttons, enormously baggy white pants, and big red Doc Martens double-laced with black and yellow shoelaces. Her long straight black hair was pulled up on top of her head with more black and yellow shoelaces braided together. Her earrings said "stop" and "go"--"stop" in her left ear and "go" in her right.

It's been a while since I recreated one of these in Neopets form for you, so here you go. I think I got the stop and go backwards though.

Kristy leads the Krushers through a practice and decides that her blah feeling is because she misses actually playing the game. Her friends suggest she try out for the SMS softball team, but Kristy doesn't think she has time. Her life is too busy with school, sitting, and coaching. She doesn't want to disappoint the Krushers by giving up on them. Stacey and Claudia offer to take over the Krushers if Kristy makes the SMS team, so Kristy goes to tryouts.

Kristy's heard that the softball coach is very tough, and she's nervous about trying out, especially when she sees that the other girls trying out are really talented, especially the ones who were on last year's team. She describes one girl catching a ball over her shoulder with her bare left hand, then casually sauntering back to her position at shortstop.

OH MY GOD NO. OK. NO. THERE ARE NO LEFT-HANDED THROWING SHORTSTOPS. THIS IS NOT A THING THAT HAPPENS. WHY DO THESE BOOKS DO THIS TO ME, WHY.

Kristy makes a solid defensive grab and the coach praises her for doing a good job. The tryouts last a long time, and Kristy is exhausted by the end of it. She overhears some of the girls from the previous year's team saying something about an initiation, and she finds it hard to believe that sports teams still do initiations in 1994, when this book was published. That night at dinner, Sam and Charlie also both tease her about having to do an initiation if she makes the team.

Kristy makes the team, one of four new members. The others are named Tonya, Dilys, and Bea. As usual, the names feel a bit anachronistic for 1994. Dilys is the only sixth grader on the team. Bea is in eighth grade and I think Tonya is in seventh. Kristy, Bea, Dilys, and Tonya are approached by two team members named Marcia and Tallie, who tell them they must spray paint graffiti on an old shed as an initiation. Kristy protests, and Marcia and Tallie threaten that they will make the new players look bad in practice if they don't comply.

Kristy and Dilys both say they won't spray paint the shed, but after a few practices where they look bad, they change their mind and decide they will meet up with Tonya and Bea and they will all paint the shed. They do this on a Friday night. After they paint some graffiti, Tonya and Bea smoke cigarettes. Kristy, naturally, scolds them for smoking and stomps off.

The next morning Kristy hears a report on the radio that the shed they vandalized has burned down and a man is in the hospital after a failed attempt at putting out the fire. She panics because she is just certain that the shed burning down is somehow their fault, like, maybe Tonya and Bea's burnt matches ignited the spray paint and they didn't notice. Kristy freaks out and makes the other three come to the mansion for an emergency meeting. Tonya and Bea are like "calm down" but Dilys is pretty freaked out too. Then Tallie calls to say that if they tell, the team will say they are lying and there was no initiation.

The boys' baseball team ends up getting blamed for the fire, and after a bunch of boring angst, Kristy decides she's going to tell that it was really her. But the morning that she was going to go confess, it comes out that some high school kids burned the shed because they wanted to put out the fire and be heroes.

So, since the high schoolers have confessed, Kristy decides not to tell on herself and her teammates for vandalizing the shed, and also decides that she will stay on the softball team. Maybe she'll change it from within, she thinks. Maybe she'll make it so that next year, there's no initiation. Which seems silly, because a.) Kristy still isn't that tight with the other girls on the team, because she's kind of a goody two-shoes and b.) assuming she makes a team, she'll be on the high school team next year, not the middle school team, so how will she stop anything?

Meanwhile, Stacey and Claudia are attempting to coach the Krushers. First, at a meeting, Kristy tries to explain softball to them. First they are talking about throwing strikes and full counts and Kristy says that strategy is too advanced for the Krushers and suggests they do simple drills instead. She starts to describe a drill and Stacey and Claudia are both suddenly stupid and do not understand what a drill is, even though they were using baseball terms three paragraphs prior. At Stacey and Claudia's first practice, Claudia wears the following:

Claudia was wearing a red satin baseball cap, purple sweatpants that were cut off just below the knees, purple high-tops with neon pink laces, red-and-white-striped socks, and a red and pink tie-dyed crop top shirt.

That sounds hideous.

Stacey and Claudia tell the kids to do some drills, then have a short practice game. Claudia acts as the umpire and hears "a half dozen bewildering phrases, including 'infield fly rule', 'tagging up', and 'full count.'" This is stupid and makes no sense, because a.) full count is one of the phrases Stacey and Claudia used before Kristy even explained softball to them and b.) if throwing strikes is too advanced of strategy for the Krushers, then what the hell are they doing talking about the rest of this shit? I am just going to go ahead and assume it's Gabbie Perkins the wonder-two-year-old who is explaining the infield fly rule to the others.

Then Claudia and Stacey run one other practice and it goes a bit better, except for Karen Brewer following them around trying to talk about makeup and boyfriends while they coach. The title of this book, Kristy's Copycat, refers to Karen trying to act more grown up and talk to the BSC about boyfriends and makeup, even though that's only like one chapter plus three pages of the book. Still, I suppose Kristy's Copycat is a catchier title than, say, Kristy Might Have Burned Down a Shed.

My score: 4/10.

*except for that stupid book where Karen meets the president of the United States

LS #120, Karen's Easter Parade

First of all, sorry about the inside scans of this book. For some reason they were printed very lightly in the book and the lines were so faint that my scanner had a hard time picking them up.

Karen is excited because her cousin Diana is coming to visit for just over a week leading up to Easter. Karen and Diana had met once before and had a magical adventure at their family reunion in Maine. Diana is coming on the train by herself, and the rest of her family will arrive in a week's time.


Karen finds out that the town will be holding an Easter Parade on Easter Sunday. She and her friends are really excited because they hear "parade" and think "floats and candy." Karen also thinks there will be a bonnet decorating contest with prizes. As it turns out, the Easter Parade is more of a social event where people dress up in their finery and chat with each other, but I can't fault Karen for thinking the other thing, because I had never heard of an Easter Parade either and I'm in my 30s. I think it might be another regional thing like Mischief Night. I'm getting ahead of myself, though, because Karen doesn't find out what the parade is really about till almost the end of the book.

Diana arrives on the train with her chaperone, and rushes to give Karen a hug. Karen thinks everything will be hunky dory, but Diana is kind of an asshole to Karen later. They go for a bike ride and Karen asks Diana if she's homesick. Diana yells at her and rides off. The next day, they are decorating Easter eggs, a week early, because they are going to donate the decorated eggs to the community egg hunt. Karen explains that the hunt will be held on Tuesday morning so as not to conflict with the Easter Parade, which is super ideal for working parents, right? Saturday morning apparently was right out.

The kids start decorating eggs. Andrew and Karen are using standard dye methods, but Diana is coloring hers with crayons and watercolor markers prior to dipping them in the dye. She is being a total asshole about it too, loudly bragging that her eggs look soooo much better than Karen and Andrew's baby eggs. Karen is upset, because she doesn't remember Diana being a huge asshole before.

That night, things seem fine with Diana again, and she and Karen talk and giggle until Mommy comes in to tell them to shut up. Karen is all ready to go to sleep, but Diana calls her a baby and gets Karen to keep talking until Mommy comes in again and yells at them. Then the next morning, the nanny wants the kids to help her with chores, and Diana is kind of an ass about that, too, but I blame her less for that, because who wants to clean out a rat cage when you're on vacation?

Diana is irritated at the egg hunt because the kids younger than 5 get a head start, and she doesn't win. She tries to talk Karen into combining their baskets so they can get a prize, but Karen won't do it because that would make them beat Andrew and she is happy for him that he got a prize. They run into Sam after the egg hunt and he tells them that he'll be dressed up as the Easter Bunny at the parade. For some kind of charity. So, if they're going to have a costumed Easter Bunny, why wouldn't the kids think it was the other kind of parade, right. Then Sam asks if the girls are going to wear their best Easter bonnets and for some reason Karen thinks this means there is a bonnet decorating contest.

Diana gets really, really into the whole idea of decorating hats. They go to the mall and the nanny is supposed to buy some stuff for the family party, but Diana drags them from store to store looking for plain straw hats and fake flowers and shit. Then the nanny is pissy because they don't have time to get the other shit and will have to come back. Which is stupid, because she's the adult in this situation, and let herself get bossed around by an eight-year old. Great nannying, there.

They go over to Nancy's house, and Diana is flat-out rude to Karen's friends and calls them babies. Hannie and Nancy laugh at Karen and Diana for still thinking it's a parade with floats and explain what it really is, and Diana yells at them that she and Karen are still going to win the bonnet contest that Karen made up.

Karen and Diana decorate their stupid hats. Karen is sad because Diana is still being kind of an ass, and she shoplifted gum from the dollar store. Diana thinks that they should add framed pictures to their stupid hats, and Karen says they don't have any money for frames, and Diana suggests they could just steal them. Karen calls Kristy and Kristy agrees to bike ride to the store with them. While they are at the store, Karen and Diana get in a big fight because Karen threatens to tattle on Diana if she steals picture frames. To put on their hats. Because framed pictures. On hats. Diana yells that Karen is a baby and is ruining her whole vacation.

They go to the mall to see Easter Bunny Sam. Andrew wants to get his picture taken with the Easter Bunny even though he knows it's just Sam in a suit. Some older boys are heckling the young kids for getting their pictures taken with the Easter Bunny. Diana goes up to them and tells them off for teasing Andrew, and the boys run off. Then Sam goes on break, and the kids chat with him and he tells Karen that there is no bonnet decorating contest. You would think this is the sort of thing adults might check before they let an 8 year old drag them to six stores and spend $50 on tacky shit to glue to hats.

The day before Easter, Diana's parents and little brother arrive. Last time, Kelsey was Diana's 4-year-old sister, one of the most glaring inconsistencies in the series. On Easter Sunday, Karen wakes up and finds a note from Diana apologizing for being an asshole for an entire week and explaining that she did it because she was embarrassed to have a chaperone on the train and didn't want Karen to think she was a baby, so instead she just called Karen and Andrew and Karen's friends babies. It's a really stupid resolution to the conflict because Karen is just like "oh, okay. we're besties again."

Later in the day, they go downtown and run into Karen's friends again. Diana apologizes for being rude to Hannie and Nancy. (No, I don't know why Karen's Jewish friend is at the Easter Parade, all dressed up.) Nancy and Hannie agree to give Diana another chance. Karen says that they have given her a million second chances. This is true. Again, if I were Nancy or Hannie's parents, I would encourage them to find other friends.

Here's the cover. Karen is walking with Sam in a bunny costume, although Sam doesn't look as tall as you'd think, considering that he's 15 and Karen's 7. Karen has pulled her hair into a side ponytail for this special occasion. Her bonnet is not nearly as tacky as you would expect from reading the book. Maybe they removed all the fake flowers and fruit when they found out there wasn't a contest.

Foods eaten in this book: spaghetti, lemonade, fruit roll-ups, marshmallow bunnies, orange juice, cereal, chocolate bunnies, eggs goldenrod.

Overall, this book is pretty stupid. My score: 3/10.

#55, Jessi's Gold Medal

Good job giving away the ending, title of the book!

It's getting to be summer time, and Jessi is supervising her younger siblings playing in the sprinkler. Becca is wearing a bathing suit with wild patterns all over it, and Jessi reassures us that it is not a fancy designer suit, but a plain white suit that Becca decorated with Magic Markers. This really doesn't relate to anything else in the book but it's really strange to me that one would assume a plain colored suit would be necessarily less expensive than some "designer" version that used multiple colors.

Jessi asks her parents if they can get a pool, which gets a hell no, but they do say they'll buy a family membership to the Stoneybrook pool complex.

Jessi goes to a club meeting and we get a Claudia outfit description:

At that meeting, for example, she was wearing these sharply creased, pastel green, cuffed shorts; a wild Hawaiian shirt tied at her waist, with vibrant colors that perfectly picked up the green; and sandals with crisscrossing ankle straps to her knees. Her hair was swept to one side and held in place with a long, fake-flowered barrette that looked like a Hawaiian lei.

 In gym class, the teacher announces that they will be doing a swimming unit, combined with the boys' class. I don't know why they even bother having separate gym classes (my schools never did) considering that they are always combining them. There's this unit for Jessi's class, the volleyball and archery units in Mallory Hates Boys (and Gym), the class that Kristy has to co-teach with Cary in Kristy in Charge, and probably more that I'm forgetting.

Mallory is mortified that she has shown up to the pool with the "ugliest, babiest bathing suit in the world!" Jessi looks at it and agrees that "It was an out-of-style, faded, one-piece suit with a ruffled skirt." Mallory tries to stand behind Jessi so that none of the boys can see her, which of course draws even more attention to her. I am just wondering why Mallory has chosen the old, faded bathing suit. The Pikes go to Sea City every summer, right? They have bathing suits. I looked up the suit Mallory wore in #34, and it was a two piece with a blue bottom and a striped tank top. That sounds perfectly reasonable, and clearly the Pikes don't seem to object to buying bathing suits for all of their kids. Then in #39, Poor Mallory, when she's babysitting the Delaneys and wearing her bathing suit, she doesn't describe it all, which leads me to believe that it's not embarrassing, because Mallory would be sure to mention if she hated her suit. Even if Mallory has had a little growth spurt and outgrown her old tankini in the intervening books, where would she have gotten the old, faded one-piece with the ruffle? She's the oldest child in her family. Did her mom take her to a thrift store and buy the suit? Did she just dig out something from the way back of her drawer, or even her mother's drawer? WHY? The Pikes are weird. And gross.

After class, the teacher meets with Jessi to ask if she wants to switch from regular gym into synchronized swimming. Jessi's not sure about it because she's not a very strong swimmer but the coach really likes her form. Jessi is paired up with a girl named Elise to be her pairs partner. Elise is Jessi's opposite; a strong swimmer (she's on the swim team) with less-than-stellar form. Then the coach announces that the team will be doing a demonstration and a pairs competition at the upcoming SMS Sports Festival.

Here's the cover, which shows Jessi and Elise competing at the end of the book. They have gotten matching bathing suits for the competition, but don't worry, as you can see they're a solid color and not some fancy designer swimwear. Jessi and Elise feel like they are way behind the rest of the class, because Jessi is completely new to synchro and she and Elise just got partnered up. The two decide that they will practice together outside of class, after school and on weekends when they don't have other obligations.

The rest of the club will also be participating in the Sports Festival, except for Mary Anne, who hates sports. I have never really thought of any of the club members aside from Kristy as being particularly athletic but they all plan to enter an event or two just for fun. Kristy, by the way, is going to be involved in a special one-on-one exhibition against Alan Gray. The winner gets a week of "personal service time" from the loser.

The subplot in this book is that they decide to hold a mini-Olympics for their charges. Naturally, they are going to hold it in Mary Anne and Dawn's backyard, where they hold almost every activity they do. Kristy babysits at her house and a bunch of neighbor kids come over, so she is in charge of ten kids. Even though the club rule is that two sitters are needed for more than four children. Andrew is trying really hard to do everything but he sucks at it all because he's four, and he ends up in tears. Poor Andrew. Naturally all the kids in Stoneybrook are totally into the idea of the mini-Olympics, except for Charlotte and Becca. Stacey inadvertently hurts Charlotte's feelings by trying to push her to participate. Claudia and Mallory babysit for all of Mallory's siblings, who are all running around practicing to enter various events. Eight more neighborhood kids show up, too, which leaves an eleven and thirteen-year old to supervise fifteen children. Nobody seems to have a problem with that. Mallory tries the potato sack race and sprains her ankle. (The people of Stoneybrook seem to have weak ankles. There's a sprain like every third book.) Mallory tries to pretend that she is sad she'll miss the Sports Festival, but eventually admits she hurt herself on purpose to get out of it because she only signed up so her friends wouldn't think she was a baby.

The day of the SMS festival arrives. Jessi's really nervous about her routine, but her mother reassures her that all that matters is that she does her best, and they will be proud of her no matter what. Jessi feels a lot better and even enjoys watching some of the other events. Kristy gets second in the hundred-yard dash, Dawn enters the javelin throw, and Claudia enters a backwards race. Two Claudia outfits in one book? We are all winners today!

Take Claudia. She was wearing electric-pink track shorts with a turquoise racing stripe, a matching top with cut-off sleeves, brand-new high top track shoes with no socks, and floral-print suspenders! Her hair was pulled up on top of her head and held in place with a silver barrette in the shape of the Olympic symbol. If it had been an athletic-wear fashion show, she would have won.

 Kristy wins her obstacle course race against Alan Gray, and is kind of a bitch to him about the week of "personal service." I am unsurprised by this. Then it is time for Jessi's event. She and Elise do their best, and when prizes are announced, they have won. Again, thanks for giving that away, title of the book.

Elise and Jessi both decide to quit synchronized swimming. Jessi because it interfered with her ballet, and Elise because it gave her less time to devote to the swim team, which was her true love. This isn't really surprising. Jessi already has a single characteristic (loves ballet) to mention in the chapter 2s. Unfortunately, but again not unexpectedly, Elise and Jessi don't stay friends after this book and she is never heard from again.

The club holds the mini-Olympics for the kids and naturally it is a huge success. There are like 30 kids, plus parents milling around, plus all the club members, plus Elise and Alan Gray, all in Mary Anne and Dawn's backyard. Aside from giving up their yard for the day, I imagine that Richard and Sharon have a constant stream of people in and out needing to use their bathroom. That is what they get for having the biggest and most centrally located yard, I guess. Andrew enters almost every event but doesn't win any, and the club gives him the Most Determined award.

Overall, this book is just not that interesting to me. I have a hard time getting invested in Elise because she never shows up again, and reading about all the sports and the kids practicing various sports is not interesting either. I wish there were more scenes with Jessi at home with her family, because I think I've mentioned before that the Ramsey family is one of my favorites. My score: 6/10.

#63, Claudia's Freind Friend

This book starts out with Claudia in English class, having a hard time paying attention even though the teacher calls on her twice. After class, the teacher tells Claudia that they have a big test coming up and if she doesn't do well on it, she will fail English. She suggests that she can set up some time in the Resource Room for Claudia, which has helped her in the past, but Claudia is horrified and turns her down. I don't know why. If it helped her before, why would it be so bad this time?

At the BSC meeting that afternoon, the girls get a call from Mrs. Rodowsky. We are told that the oldest Rodowsky boy, Shea,  has been diagnosed with dyslexia. His mother thinks it would be a good idea to hire young teenagers to help him with his homework while he adjusts to this diagnosis because they're closer to his own age and he might like them better. After the call from Mrs. Rodowsky, Claudia admits to her friends that she is in danger of failing English, and they offer to tutor her. Because this is somehow less embarrassing than going to the resource room. Claudia's parents agree that Stacey can tutor her but they will be monitoring the situation.

One thing I should note about Claudia is that it is stressed over and over in the books that she does not have a learning disability. She's of above average intelligence but has a  hard time paying attention in school and doesn't focus on it very well. I think this is utterly ridiculous and that the books would read a lot smoother if Claudia did have a diagnosis of some sort. I mean, even when she tries hard to pass a test, she has to work a lot harder than the other girls, and she's had trouble in school forever.

The first tutoring session that Mary Anne has with Shea ends badly because it takes Shea about a decade to write one letter to a person he admires that is up to Mary Anne's standards. Shea is really discouraged by the end of the session. The person he admires that he chose to write to, by the way, is Jackie Robinson.

the recent Google doodle in honor of Jackie Robinson's birthday

I'm really excited about the new movie about Jackie Robinson. It's coming out in April and I'm thinking I might see it in the theater. Usually I wait for stuff to come out on DVD but I saw the trailer for 42 and it looks good.

Claudia sits for the Rodowskys and manages to upset Shea by trying to help him with his homework.

Stacey is a total hard-ass while tutoring Claudia. Claudia feels resentful. Stacey makes Claudia keep a journal to improve her spelling. Claudia also starts a second journal, bitching about Stacey. Then she and Stacey get into a fight at a club meeting, while the other girls stare in disbelief.

Claudia babysits for the Rodowsky boys again and this time, she and Shea really hit it off and help each other with their spelling. It goes so well that Mrs. Rodowsky wants Claudia to tutor Shea. Claudia has another tutoring session with Shea and that one goes swimmingly as well. She and Shea really understand each other because Claudia, like Shea, knows what it's like to struggle with a learning disability has some experience with doing poorly in school.

The sitters have been getting some notes that they think are from a secret admirer. The follow up to this is that they get a note inviting them to the Rosebud Cafe. They decide that it must not be secret admirers after all, but a prank being pulled by Cokie and Grace, so they dress in really weird clothes and go, only to find that it's some sitting charges who have invited them because they are great babysitters and they deserve ice cream. It's kind of stupid.

Naturally, when Stacey wants to take Claudia's journal home to see how her spelling is, Claudia gives her the wrong one and Stacey reads about what a bitch Claudia thinks she is. This is some great teenage girl drama. She invites Claudia over and they both apologize to each other and are friends again. This is what Claudia wears to go over to Stacey's house:

I changed into something more suitable--a giant blue-and-white striped shirt and socks with blue spots, over blue bike shorts that matched the stripes and spots. I pulled on red high tops, and hung a dangly red earring made of a string of hearts in one ear and another earring that was a dangly row of silver arrows.[sic] I pulled my hair back with a red ribbon, and headed for Stacey's.

Claudia gets a B on the English test, and then the sitters and several of the kids they sit for all go to the spring dance at the community center.

If this recap seems really disjointed and fairly boring, it's because the book is disjointed and boring. The recap doesn't flow very well even though I left out two random sitting chapters that added nothing to the plot. I don't find reading about someone else doing homework and being tutored to be all that fascinating. It's definitely not one of my favorites. My score: 3/10.