LS #30, Karen's Kittens

This book starts out with Karen being bored on a rainy day. She's at her mom's house playing Go Fish with Andrew. Then there is the chapter where she tells us about her families. Then it is a weekend at her dad's house, and she has a really boring night there, too. I'm not just being an ass about it, either. Literally, in the book, Karen is complaining that she is bored and describing how there is nothing going on. I don't know who thought it would be a good hook to start a story with three boring chapters.

Finally, that Saturday morning, the interesting parts of the story start. Karen sees a grey tail going into the toolshed and goes to investigate. Look how long her hair is in this illustration. I think this may be the longest-haired Karen in any of the illustrations I've seen thus far. Also, she appears to have worn Charlie's shirt by accident, that thing is enormous. When Karen looks in the shed, she sees a grey tiger striped cat, which is apparently the only kind of cat in Stoneybrook, because don't Boo-Boo and Mary Anne's stupid kitten match this description? Watson tells her that the cat is going to have kittens and has probably chosen their toolshed to do it because it is a private space, or it was till Karen found it. Karen brings the cat some food and water. She states that she does not ask Boo-Boo before bringing some of his food to the other cat because he would probably say no. You know, because cats can talk.

Karen names the mama cat Growly, because it growls at her. I would make fun of her for picking crap names, but to be fair, she's just a little kid. My niece tried to name my cat Sharp Claws (although she was four, not seven.) Growly has five kittens in the toolshed. Karen thinks they are kind of ugly because she expected them to look like TV kittens. Watson explains that the kittens will get cuter after the first couple of weeks. Karen goes up to her room and uses her crayons to make birth announcements for the kittens to give out to her family and friends.

Here's the cover. Karen is playing with the kittens and again, her hair is really long.

Karen begs to keep one or all of the kittens, but both of her parents tell her no. Watson does tell her she can find homes for the kittens when they are old enough. This book (like a lot of the early LS books) has hardly any scenes at Karen's mom's house, and also skips over several weeks. The kittens are born, then the next time we read about them, they're a month old, then they're eight weeks old.

Karen, Hannie, and Melody play with the kittens in a featureless void. I don't like Melody. I wish Amanda had never moved away, because I'm sure she would have had something to say about the relative merits of free kittens vs. $500 Persian cats.

Karen's first idea to get homes for the kittens is to set up a table, put the kittens in a box, and make a sign that says "FREE KITTENS." Soon the yard is full of kids manhandling the kittens, but none of the kids can take a kitten home. Then when Karen wants the kittens put back in the box, one of them is missing. Karen throws everyone but Hannie and Melody out of her yard so they can find the kitten.

Karen's next idea is to take photos of the kittens in to her class and ask if anyone can have one. Natalie "Droopy Socks" Springer says she can have a cat, and chooses the one she wants. Karen promises to bring it over the next day. Mommy drives her over to Daddy's house so that Charlie can drive her to bring the kitten to Natalie, but when they get there, it turns out Natalie can't have a kitten after all. Her parents told her she could have a pet but they meant something like a turtle or guinea pig. Charlie drives Karen and the kitten back to Daddy's house where she explains what happened, then Charlie drives her back to her mom's house. It would probably have been more efficient for him to drop her off on the way from Natalie's, just saying.

Karen remembers that when Mommy and Seth wanted to sell their couch, they invited over several people who wanted to buy a couch, and sold it in one day. Why they knew multiple people who wanted to buy a couch I don't know. Maybe it was just a time of couch shortage in Stoneybrook and they were taking advantage. This anecdote makes me glad that I live in a time where I can sell my couch on Craigslist, no couch-sale party necessary.

Karen hands out invitations that basically say "Do you want a cat? Will your parents allow you to have a cat? Bring a parent to a kitten party and get a kitten!" Nancy's parents read the invitation and call Karen to ask her to set aside a kitten for Nancy as a surprise, because they can't come to the party but want her to have a cat. A bunch of people come to the party, and all of the rest of the kittens are adopted. One of them is adopted by Melody's family, because their cat died the year before and they had wanted to get a new cat. This is weird because in the regular series books, Melody's baby sister Skylar is terrified of cats. Karen goes over to Melody's house and Melody and her mom tell Karen that she can share the kitten and visit it whenever she is at her dad's. The kitten will never be mentioned again, either in the LS or the regular series.

Growly the cat runs away, and Watson tells Karen that she is a wild cat and needs to be free. I kind of wish that they had gotten Growly fixed because the next people whose toolshed she has kittens in may not be able to find homes for them. And yes, I understand that this is not really Watson's responsibility, but neither was providing for the kittens and finding them homes, and they did that.

Karen takes the final kitten to Nancy's house and Nancy is absolutely thrilled. She tells Karen that the kitten can be half Karen's. Karen tells us that having half a kitten at Nancy's and half a kitten at Melody's is perfect for a two-two. Gag-gag.

Foods eaten in this book: "a big plate of hamburgers and rolls and lots of gloppy stuff to put on them" (yes, it says exactly that in the book. Yes, it sounds gross. No, I don't know if the gloppy stuff was on the same plate with the hamburgers and rolls.), Fruity-Os, popcorn, pretzels, raisins, carrot sticks, juice, soda.

My score: 3.5/10