#86, Mary Anne and Camp BSC

I have a few more Little Sister books with Seth's parents upcoming but it's summer so I wanted to do a book where the BSC holds one of their camps.

The book starts with Mary Anne and Mallory babysitting for the Pikes. The kids are being really wild but do not do anything actively gross. When Mary Anne goes home they have supper with three-cheese macaroni that's a recipe Dawn made up, and garlic and onion toast that Mary Anne made. It is supposed to sound really good but I hate homemade mac and cheese and garlic toast so the meal just sounds kind of gross to me. Richard announces that his law firm has merged with another firm and he'll be traveling more, starting with a two week trip to Cincinnati in July.

The baby-sitters realize that there is a three week gap between the end of school and the start of most camps and YMCA activities in the area, so they decide to hold a day camp in Mary Anne and Dawn's backyard for a couple of weeks and give it a circus theme. Shannon quotes a line from the Wizard of Oz.  The club signs 22 children up for the camp. There are a bunch of kids from Karen's class at school as well as a bunch of kids the club usually sits for.

One of the kids, Alicia Gianelli, is four years old and has separation anxiety about being away from her mother. Mary Anne feels sympathetic toward her and spends a bunch of time with her, even staying with her while the other kids go to the park. The club announces the circus theme to the kids. Karen and her friends start acting superior because they've been to a real circus camp before. Karen in particular acts like a little brat about the entire idea and doesn't want to participate.

Richard leaves on his trip to Cleveland. Nothing is mentioned about why he is now going there instead of Cincinnati. Some of these later books weren't edited particularly well. Sharon has decreed that she and the girls will have a great time while Richard is gone. They rent stupid movies and throw popcorn at the screen during the bad scenes. Mary Anne misses her dad and really doesn't enjoy the movies or the mess.

The BSC campers take a field trip to the Stones' stupid farm, well, except for Alicia who stays with Mary Anne. Mrs. Stone gives the children a tour of her farm and tells them about the animals and some of the crops she grows. Everything goes well until they get to Elvira the stupid goat, who chews a strip off of Claire Pike's t-shirt. I don't know why I hate a fictional baby goat so much, but I really, really do.

Richard has been gone for four days, and the house is a mess. Sharon has been ordering takeout every night. FOUR NIGHTS YOU GUYS. She and Dawn tell the delivery people to not pack the food in Styrofoam or send plastic forks, so they have to use their own utensils. Three people have already managed to go through all of the silverware the family owns, then dig out the "good silver" and start using that, even though it is explicitly stated that they had pizza one night. I think maybe the family could use a few more forks, is what I'm getting at. Mary Anne tries to clean the house and does "about a thousand loads" of dishes in the dishwasher which is frankly fucking ridiculous. After four days where the girls are at camp and Sharon at work during the day, and they eat takeout at night, how many dishes can there be? Cereal bowls and breakfast dishes, maybe. Some plates and the aforementioned silverware from suppers. Glasses. But there really shouldn't be many pots and pans or other dishes, so I don't know how Mary Anne can be doing so many dishes.

Karen is a bratty little shit some more and bitches about the circus camp not being a real circus camp.

On Friday night, the end of the first week of camp, the sitters have a cookout for the campers. They serve turkey dogs, coleslaw, and baked beans, because Dawn will eat turkey dogs but not beef or pork because, well, because these books were really inconsistent about whether Dawn was actually a vegetarian. Then they take the kids in the barn to tell ghost stories. Some of the kids have brought pajamas to change into and pretend it is a real campout. This is the scene depicted on the cover. Mary Anne looks cute. I'm pretty sure Jackie Rodowsky is the kid next to Karen but I don't know who the others are supposed to be.

Mary Anne, Logan, and Dawn are going to ride their bikes to the lake and have a picnic, but Mary Anne wrecks and scrapes herself up badly, and of course, badly sprains her ankle. I should add a sprained ankle tag, there really is one in about every third book. Mary Anne wants her dad to come home but he can't and she feels really lonely and sorry for herself.

The campers go to the bowling alley, except for Alicia who stays with Mary Anne. Alicia kind of wants to go bowling but Mary Anne doesn't realize it. She's still babying Alicia. The bowling chapter is pretty boring. The next day Alicia wants to go to the park and after she goes, Mary Anne realizes that she's been acting like a baby and refusing to have fun with Sharon and Dawn because she misses her dad. She has a talk with Sharon and tries to embrace the remaining time before Richard returns. They go to a double feature at the drive-in.

The circus dress rehearsal is a disaster because Karen and her asshole friends have spent so much time bitching about the circus that they didn't rehearse their acts. The club has to work quickly to rework some of the acts so they don't seem completely terrible. Of course since the BSC is amazing, the circus performance the next day goes off without a hitch.

Mary Anne, Dawn, and Sharon clean the house because Richard is due home. They do a "gazillion" loads of dishes and laundry, which again, pretty impressive when you've not cooked anything at home. Mary Anne has a long talk with her dad and he tells her to try to loosen up and enjoy herself more. You know, because that's a thing that a man who alphabetizes his socks would say. Then I guess Mary Anne probably does another hundred loads or so of dishes.

LS #67, Karen's Turkey Day

As you may have noticed I've been doing a lot of Little Sister books with Seth's parents in them because I was wondering about them and wondering, like, if Seth is close to them and if he's an only child and whether they were disappointed when he left the farm. Naturally these questions are not fully answered in books aimed at 6 year olds, which is cool with me, because I can try to read between the lines and make up my own little back story for Seth and his parents.

Karen arrives at the Little House for November and is told that Mommy and Seth have made reservations to stay at a hotel in New York City for Thanksgiving, and they will be able to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade from their hotel windows. Karen is like OH SHIT YES THIS IS AWESOME and I'm like "You've got to be kidding me, this shit again??"

Here's the cover. There's a scene in this book that wasn't even interesting enough to make it into my recap where Karen's class at school makes decorations for the old folks' home. This is Karen and Ricky with their decorations. I kind of dig Karen's vest.

Seth has been working late a lot and he has also been getting a lot of calls from his parents. Grandad can't work because of the heart attack he had in book 63 and he and Granny are bored and lonely. Mommy and Seth try hard to convince Granny and Grandad to come for a visit, but Granny and Grandad are resistant. They don't know anyone in Stoneybrook, after all, and as Seth points out they've lived on their farm for four decades. I wonder how old Seth is. I wonder if the farm is not the first place Granny and Grandad lived after they got married, because they seem older than early/mid 60s to me.

Finally, Seth convinces his parents to come visit, not just for Thanksgiving but to stay until the beginning of January. Karen is very excited for this visit. She helps Mommy transform the den into a guest bedroom for Granny and Grandad. They stayed in the upstairs guest room last time but Mommy says Grandad isn't well enough to climb the stairs this time. I think this is the first mention ever of the Little House having a guest bedroom. That makes four bedrooms upstairs, and downstairs has the den/office space. That's really not what I picture when I think of a little house, although I suppose Karen is comparing it to Watson's Real! Live! Mansion! At any rate, they continue to prep the den to be the guest room. Seth gives their old sofa to the Salvation Army and gets a used sofa bed from somewhere. I don't know why, if they already had a guest room, they didn't just move the bed downstairs for the month and a half Granny and Grandad would be there. I just called and asked and my mom said there was no way she would sleep on a sofa bed for six weeks, and she is not as old as Seth's parents, either. Seth brings two tables from work to put in the room, and Andrew draws a turkey and glues it to a popsicle stick for decor. Karen adds a string of construction paper pumpkins.

The family picks up Granny and Grandad at the airport. It looks like Granny cut her hair dramatically shorter than last time we saw her, but no mention of it is made in the text. I looked at the picture of her from #10 and I guess her hair is under a handkerchief, so it could have already been short. I don't know why I thought it was in a bun. Maybe it was an illustration I didn't scan. Grandad looks older and more frail than Karen remembers, and Granny and Grandad announce that they will not be going to New York City with the family. They will for some reason, having flown halfway across the country, make themselves Thanksgiving dinner in their son's home while he is out of town. Lisa and Seth are like "Suit yourselves."

One day Karen comes home from school and shows Grandad her schoolwork and they go for a walk around the neighborhood and it's nice, but the next day, when Karen comes home from school, Grandad yells at her not to brag about her schoolwork and not to run around in the house. Karen goes in her room and cries and Granny comes and explains that Grandad is sick and not used to children and didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Karen understands.

Seth keeps having late nights and after some discussion, Lisa decides she will go to work helping him out in his shop. Granny will take care of the house. Grandad will help where he can, considering he's still weak and sick. Ha ha, just kidding, nobody gives a shit how he feels, he's in charge of watching the children.

Grandad watches Karen and Andrew because Granny is soooo busy all the time running errands. I don't understand how this can be because it's not like Lisa had to leave the kids with a babysitter every night to run the trillions of errands that keep the little house running smoothly. I think it's mostly for plot purposes so that Karen and Andrew can spend some time with Grandad. He plays quiet games with them and makes them chips and cheese in the microwave.

Two days before Thanksgiving, Lisa and Seth decide that they are going to cancel their plans and stay home with Granny and Grandad. Karen is bitterly disappointed. I'm like "Yup, this shit again." I added a tag for the parade because this has to be at least the fourth time we've seen this exact plot and I know of at least two more upcoming.

Karen and Granny go to the supermarket but because it's two days before Thanksgiving, the store is sold out of almost everything. There isn't even a turkey they can buy. Granny decides to serve chicken wings instead. They also buy some canned goods and frozen pumpkin pies. I think this is probably the most disappointing part of the whole thing, because if Lisa and Seth had canceled their plans earlier instead of at the last minute, I bet Granny would have made an amazing dinner.

Nancy tells Karen that her family is not visiting their relatives after all so Lisa invites the Dawes family to eat chicken wings with them for Thanksgiving and they accept.

The day before Thanksgiving, Karen rounds up the neighborhood kids and makes them practice being in a parade. Thanksgiving morning, she watches the Macy's parade on TV, then goes outside and marches with her friends. Bobby's father videotapes it for all the parents.

Here is what I wore to lead the parade: red tights, blue shorts, white T-shirt, jean jacket, and a pair of Granny's white gloves. I put one of Nancy's party hats on my head. And ZI draped a banner over my shoulder. It said Happy Thanksgiving inside a beautiful glitter border.

I could totally picture Claudia wearing the exact same outfit. Here it is in all its glory:

Andrew is dressed up as a Pilgrim. Some other neighbor kid is dressed up as a pirate, which has nothing to do with Thanksgiving but the kids were trying to copy the Macy's parade which has a lot of characters unrelated to the holiday.

Karen's family and Nancy's family have a lovely and fun Thanksgiving day together. Grandad says he is glad to be with his family, even though he had to leave his farm, and Karen is glad that Granny and Grandad have come to visit her family.

This book has a couple of cute scenes but mostly it is boring and the recycling of the we're-going-to-see-the-parade-oh-wait-we-aren't plotline makes my score a 3/10.

Foods eaten in this book: hamburger, mashed potatoes, green beans, Krispy Krunchy cereal, peanut butter and jelly on crackers, crackers, cheese, sliced apples, grape juice, meatballs, spaghetti, corn chips with melted cheese, fresh squeezed lemonade, vegetable lasagna, salad, chicken wings, canned cranberry sauce, canned lima beans, canned sweet potatoes, stove top stuffing, pumpkin pie, chocolate chip cookies, vegetable soup, leftovers.

LS SS #2, Karen's Plane Trip

I don't usually do the super specials because all the storylines make them a pain in the butt to recap, but the early Little Sister specials were pretty much slightly longer than usual regular books with activity pages at the end.

In this book, Karen is going to fly all by herself to Nebraska to visit Seth's parents on their farm. She is packing and Mommy asks if she needs help, but she wants to pack all by herself. For some reason Mommy just lets her and doesn't check her suitcase, which seems a little silly to me. As independent as Karen is, she's also only seven years old.

On the day of the plane trip, Karen gets dressed up in a party dress and all her plastic rings from the dentist and her family takes her to the airport. This is the scene depicted on the cover. Seth has made her a bag to take on the plane with coloring books and stuff, and Karen also has a flight attendant assigned to help her. The plane chapter is fairly boring. Karen sits by two adults who are working and actually has enough manners to leave them alone. She gets to see the cockpit and eats an in-flight meal.

When the plane lands in Nebraska, Karen is greeted by Granny and Grandad, who are driving an old green-and-white pickup truck. Karen is very judgmental of the pickup truck. She assumes that Granny and Grandad's car must have broken down, which is why they are driving it. But no, the truck is Granny and Grandad's. Later on, when Grandad has his heart attack in Karen's Movie, Mommy, Karen, and Andrew all ride in the truck with Seth. I did some research when I did that book, because I would not expect Granny and Grandad's old rusty pickup to be a crew cab. According to Wikipedia, "Through the 1980s, most crew cab pickup trucks were sold as heavy-duty (3/4 and 1 ton) models intended for commercial use, and custom vehicle builders such as Centurion built light-duty crew cabs for the personal-use market." So I'll stick with my assumption that it was a regular cab and continue picturing it as identical to my dad's pickup, Old Green, pictured above.

Karen is very judgmental of Granny and Grandad's house. She notices that it needs a new paint job and that the porch is sagging. She is crabby when she finds out there is no TV and no air conditioning. She convinces herself that there are probably snakes living under the porch. She is even judgmental that Granny and Grandad have the nerve to not own a cordless phone. She calls home and begs to go home, but Lisa and Seth tell her no. Then she gets sent to bed at 8:30 and bitches about that, even though Granny and Grandad are also going to bed and I don't know what the hell she was planning to do if she stayed up since she hates everything about the farmhouse.

The next morning Karen dresses up in another party dress because, like she told her mom on the phone, she packed mostly fancy clothes. This is why an adult should have supervised her packing. When Granny mentions that they won't have eggs and milk until after the eggs are collected and the cows milked, Karen bitches that Granny should just go to the 7-Eleven. She is aghast to find out there is not one within thirty miles. Granny asks Karen to take off her party dress and feed the chickens, which pisses Karen off even more. Karen gets a tour of the farm and is rude about that, too. Granny and Grandad's neighbors have a daughter named Tia, who is about Karen's age. She comes over to meet Karen, but Karen is a total cow to her because she has a boy's bike and short haircut and Karen thinks she looks like a boy.


By this point in the book, I just want to smack Karen. She knew full well she was going to visit a farm, because in Karen's Grandmothers, Granny wrote letters to Nancy and included photos of the tractor and the barn cat and Karen already knew about them, and that book was published a year earlier. So, for some reason, despite knowing that she was going to a farm, Karen packed a bunch of party dresses and judged the hell out of the truck, the farmhouse, the neighbors, and everything else. She deserved to be unhappy, because she was being a rude little brat.

The next morning Granny asks Karen to help her in the vegetable garden. She shows Karen the plants she is growing and helps Karen pick ingredients to make a salad to go with supper. Karen actually enjoys this and starts to enjoy the routine of the farm.

On a rainy day, Granny teaches Karen to knit and then Tia comes over. Probably because her parents made her, because I don't know why she would have wanted to see Karen again after what a jerk Karen was to her the first time they met. This time, though, Karen is bored because of the rain, and she greets Tia enthusiastically. She and Tia invent board games together. After Tia leaves, Karen asks if Granny can take her to buy some overalls. She is sick of being the only one in dresses or good pants.

The next day Granny takes Karen to town. It's a small town and Karen wonders where the video rental store, the toy store, the pet shop, and ice-cream parlor are. Karen, clearly, has grown up in Stoneybrook where every item has its own dedicated shop. She has not been introduced to the wonders of the small town gas station/convenience store/bait shop/tire and lube/liquor store/video rental. They go in the store and Granny finds overalls for Karen. Then they eat lunch at the diner in town.

Granny lets Karen invite Tia for a sleepover on Saturday night. The girls play together and sleep in hammocks on the front porch. The next day, Karen wants to pick a bunch of vegetables and set up a roadside stand. Granny agrees but tells her not to pick too many because most of the people who live nearby have their own gardens. Karen and Tia sit out in the sun all day and make $2.59.

A few days later, the chicks hatch. Tia comes over and the girls watch the hatching. Karen names the fluffiest chick after her new friend Tia. The day before Karen leaves, Tia comes over once again and they invent board games. Grandad gives her a ride on the tractor. Karen makes one last very special salad to eat with supper. Then she gives gifts to Granny and Grandad. She knitted Granny a whole scarf after the one knitting lesson Granny gave her. It's purple and pink stripes and she knitted it as a surprise. I don't know where she got the yarn without Granny suspecting anything. She's written an eight-stanza poem for Grandad.

On the flight home, Karen spends the whole time talking to the man sitting next to her, and introduces him to her family at the airport. Then she tells her family all about the trip.

Overall, I like this book, even though Karen is a giant brat for no reason in the beginning. Granny and Grandad seem like nice people and they enjoy having Karen visit them. My score: 7/10.

Here are some of the activity pages in the back of the book.  Luckily nobody wrote in my copy. The activity pages are stupid because they ruin the book if you do them and are a waste of space if you don't.

Foods eaten in this book: orange juice, toast, fruit, bacon, juice, salad, salad dressing, cookies, lollipop, corn on the cob, chicken, popcorn, cherry pie.

LS #10, Karen's Grandmothers

Ms. Colman announces to Karen's class that they have the opportunity to participate in the adopt-a-grandparent program at Stoneybrook Manor. Anyone who wants can sign up to be paired with a resident and they will visit twice a week after school apparently forever. That seems like a lot of visits to me, honestly. Eight times a month. Karen is massively excited though. Because of her parents' divorce, she has four grandmothers already: Grandma, Granny, Neena, and Nannie. If she has another from the adopt-a-grandparent program, she will have five, which she is sure will set some sort of record.

Neena is Watson's mother and this is pretty much the only time she is mentioned in the series. It's been established that Watson lives in his ancestral home, because Ben Brewer's room is upstairs. I assume that his mother lives in a retirement community in Florida or something and gave/sold the house to him after his father died, or possibly around the time he married Lisa? I mean I guess there's nothing to say that Watson's father couldn't still be alive, but he's never mentioned even once. Anyway, Watson was probably older by the time he got married the first time, in which case he would be ready to settle in with the house and was probably already settled into his role as CEO of Stanford Unity Insurance (I think this is his job title.) Speaking of Watson and Lisa, I've always figured he was at least 10 years older than she is. He almost has to be, right? In Kristy's Great Idea, she says he's older than Elizabeth, and Elizabeth has high-school age kids.

Nancy does not want to have an adopted grandparent, even though she has no living grandparents. Nancy confesses to Karen that she is afraid of old people, especially really old people who use wheelchairs. Karen thinks that is stupid. She is certain that Nancy needs a grandparent, so she writes a letter to Granny, Seth's mother who lives in Nebraska, asking her to be Nancy's pen-pal grandmother. The letter spanned two pages, so I cut and pasted them together for you, sorry for the image quality. Note that Karen uses lower-case letters here. Later in the series she just prints in all caps all the time, which I don't really understand. By second grade, would a teacher allow someone to write in all capital letters? Karen skipped a grade (sometime I will post about that in particular) so her fine motor skills are probably a little behind her classmates but even so, you'd think the teacher would want her to at least attempt lower-case.

Karen's mother reminds Karen that she already has a lot of after school activities and twice a week is a pretty big time commitment for visiting the Manor, but signs the permission slip anyway. Karen's adopted grandmother turns out to be an old white-haired woman named Esther Barnard, who tells Karen to call her Grandma B. She likes to do things like play classical music and make Karen learn to dance the foxtrot. Karen starts to not look forward to their visits, because she thinks Grandma B is Grandma Boring. She misses a visit because of a Krushers practice, then another because she has an earache.

Meanwhile, Granny has enthusiastically answered Karen's request to be Nancy's pen-pal. She sends Nancy pictures of the farm and the tractor and the barn cat. Karen's a little jealous because Granny didn't send her any pictures. Then Granny sends Nancy some mittens with her name knitted into them. Karen is jealous of this too.

I couldn't believe it. Well, that just wasn't fair at all. Granny knitted me a pair of mittens with my name on them last year. I had thought that my Karen-mittens were very special. But I guess not. I guess Granny knits name-mittens for any girl who comes along.

Karen has a chat with Nannie and Nannie tells her that she loves all of her grandchildren the same amount, but for different reasons, and the reasons have nothing to do with whether they are biological grandchildren or not.  Karen feels better, and stops being jealous of Nancy's letters from Granny. This picture amuses me because Nannie is always described as not seeming very old. She wears pants! And goes bowling! So, in this picture, she is wearing the old woman-est shirt that ever was, with her hair in a bun, while knitting. Wow! She doesn't look old at all!

Karen's class at school is going to put on a program for the people at Stoneybrook Manor and also make them gifts. They cover soup cans with paper for the men and make macaroni necklaces for the women.  Those are terrible gifts, right? I don't just think so because I hate children? The macaroni necklaces all hit the trash can seconds after the kids left the manor, right?

Karen, Hannie, Nancy, and Ricky decide they will recite scary poems for the residents at the manor. Nancy is still terrified of going to the Manor, even though she wants to be an actress when she grows up. Her fear of old people overrides her desire to perform.

Here is a picture of the kids dressed up to recite their scary poems. I kind of love Hannie's dress. Nancy's dress is meh. Karen's dress is fug. Ricky has worn his suit, because in these books, little boys wear full suits or at least slacks and a blazer.

Karen introduces Nancy to Grandma B. They start to talk and Nancy invites Grandma B to come spend holidays at her house, because Grandma B, like Nancy, is Jewish. Nancy likes the classical music and dancing the foxtrot. She takes Karen's place in the adopt-a-grandparent program, and Karen signs up for gymnastics lessons instead. So now Nancy has a pen-pal grandma and an adopted grandma. Grandma B actually does show up later in the series and spends time with Nancy's family, which is nice.

This book is all right, if a little boring. My score: 6/10. Also, the only food consumed in this book was punch and cookies.

LS #29, Karen's Cartwheel

Karen is excited because some of the kids in her gymnastics class are going to be chosen to be on an invitational team. Karen is absolutely positive that she will get to be on the team, because she loves gymnastics and wants to perform in malls while people clap for her. Unfortunately, Karen can't do a cartwheel, even though everyone else in her class can. This doesn't stop her from having super lame fantasies about Daddy bringing the whole family to watch her do gymnastics in a shopping mall and everyone crying with pride. Karen practices her cartwheels over and over.

Here's the cover. Karen has pulled her hair into a side ponytail to help her balance on the beam. Smart thinking, Karen.


When the teacher announces the class members who have made the team, she says there are three kids. After she announces the first two, Karen waits for her to open her mouth again, then leaps up and yells "Yay I made the team!" only to discover that the teacher had called some other kid's name. Karen is embarrassed. I am entertained. Here is a drawing of that shining moment:

I love it.

Karen becomes obsessed with the idea that if she can just perfect her cartwheel, she'll be able to join the team. She is kind of obnoxious about it.

Meanwhile, Daddy has taken Karen and her friends to the toy store at the mall, where they fell in love with some dolls and really wanted them, but their parents won't buy them. Karen, Hannie, and Nancy start an odd-job business to earn money. They make signs to hang up in their neighborhoods. Daddy hires Karen to dig up dandelions from the backyard. Then on a weekend, he pays the girls to clean out the garage. Mrs. Porter sees the girls cleaning Watson's garage and hires them to clean hers, too. Karen, naturally, is kind of an asshole while cleaning the garage, taking the four brooms in the garage to be proof that Mrs. Porter is a witch. She also declares that a book they find is a book of spells.

Karen remembers that her gymnastics teacher lives in the neighborhood, so she shows up at the woman's house uninvited to show her how good she is at cartwheels now, and when that does not earn her a spot on the team, she asks to be hired to do odd jobs. Her teacher agrees. Karen shows up at 8:30 the next morning and digs up dandelions, walks the dog, sweeps the driveway, and waters the garden. Then Karen decides that since she did all that work, she doesn't want to put her money in the communal pot to buy the dolls with Hannie and Nancy. Hannie and Nancy, naturally, are a little annoyed at this because they have all agreed to pool their money. They have a brief fight but make up and then do a few more jobs until they have $41 to buy the matching dolls. They name them Merry, Kerry, and Terry, and then the Doll Sisters are mentioned in the Little Sister books off and on until pretty much the end of the series.

Karen is still upset though, because she is not good enough at gymnastics to be on the invitational team. Mrs. Porter sees that she is upset and asks what is wrong. Karen explains. Mrs. Porter says that Karen is good at a lot of things, and it's okay if she is not the best at everything. She shows Karen a picture of herself as a youngster (from the photo album which Karen had previously decreed to be a spellbook) and says that she was good at ice skating but always wanted to be an actress. Karen realizes that she can't be the best at everything she tries.

Karen has another gymnastics class and they get to watch the kids on the invitational team. Karen realizes she was not good enough at gymnastics to be on the team, like her teacher has been telling her all along. But she still enjoys gymnastics and has fun with the other kids in her class.

Overall, this book isn't really good or really bad. My score: 5/10.

Foods eaten in this book: pizza, ice cream, Orange Julius, popcorn, M&Ms, corn on the cob, fish, salad, peach.

#23, Dawn on the Coast

I have fond memories of this book. One day in fifth grade, my mom took me to the eye doctor in the middle of the day, and afterward, we went into the bookstore and bought this book, which had just come out. I took it to school and a few other girls were jealous that I had it because they didn't have it yet. It doesn't sound like much but for some reason, the memory has always stuck with me.

The book starts out with Dawn packing for a trip to California to visit her father during spring break. She hears her mom get home and "I could hear her kick off her shoes in the living room, drop her purse on the couch and her keys on the kitchen table. That's my mom, all right. I love her, but she is a little on the disorganized side." Judgmental much, Dawn? None of that seems egregiously disorganized to me.

Dawn is a little worried about leaving her mother all alone, but Sharon assures Dawn that she will be fine, because she has her parents (Granny and Pop-Pop) nearby and also is going on a date with the Trip-Man, who basically exists in this series for Dawn to whine about because she wants her mom to only date Mary Anne's dad. Like, in this book, she describes Trip-Man as "a real conservative type. Tortoise-shell glasses, you know what I mean?" First of all, no, I had no idea what she meant when I read this at ten years old. Secondly, being conservative is bad? Dawn, have you met Richard Spier?

Dawn goes to a slumber party at Kristy's house and the girls order pizza. Dawn wants broccoli on her pizza and everyone acts like that is the worst thing they've ever heard, although they do end up ordering broccoli on half of a pizza for her. I hate when people get all bitchy about pizza toppings, so I'm actually on Dawn's side here, and I hate broccoli.

On the flight to California, Dawn has trouble with a stewardess who looks like a Kewpie doll (another thing I had zero idea about at ten years old in 1989 when this book was published. I don't think I or any of my friends ever had one.) The stewardess doesn't serve Dawn a drink and messes up her meal, and then when the coffee and tea are served, and Dawn asks for real milk for her tea, the flight attendant gives her two packets of the white chemical stuff. THE HORRORS.

Dawn's dad takes her and Jeff to Disneyland. The first thing Dawn does is buy souvenirs for all her friends, then they go on several rides and attractions. It would probably have been easier to do the rides first and not lug the souvenirs around all day, just throwing that out there. Then, when they get home from Disneyland, Dawn goes over to her California best friend's house and discovers that Sunny has started a baby-sitting club of her own, the We <3 Kids Club. Dawn even takes a baby-sitting job for her old favorite clients.

There's a chapter where Claudia and Mary Anne babysit for the Newtons, their cousins the Feldmans, and the Perkins girls while their parents go out somewhere together. This is the second appearance of the Feldmans in the series and as far as I know it's the final one, which is too bad. (In their first appearance, Kristy threatens to punch Rob Feldman's lights out, which is not a thing she would say later on.) It's not a very interesting chapter.

Dawn's father takes Jeff, Dawn, and some friends to the beach. I guess this is the scene pictured on the cover, although in the book, Jeff tosses a sand crab on Dawn's lap instead of splashing her with a bucket. Dawn has a great day at the beach and thinks about how she really feels like she's at home in California. Then Dawn babysits for Clover and Daffodil Austin. Dawn informs us that their parents were flower children, which she thinks means hippies. Mrs. Austin is a weaver who works out of her home. I bet their whole house smells like patchouli oil, just saying. Mrs. Austin suggests that Dawn take Clover and Daffodil to a little carnival that is set up nearby. Clover likes the pony rides and Daffodil wins a pink stuffed animal at the ring toss. Dawn realizes she's gone the whole day without thinking of any of her friends or family back in Connecticut.

There's a chapter where Jessi babysits for Kristy's siblings, and Karen wants to play Let's All Come In. The boys don't want to play but Jessi says she'll play. There's nothing in the dress-up trunk to fit her, so Karen says they'll have to go upstairs in Ben Brewer's room and get some antique clothing for Jessi, because that's what people do with antique and vintage clothing in these books, is allow their kids to unpack old trunks and ruin the clothes. Karen gets freaked out because someone has written "TURN BACK!" in the dust on the stair railing and left an ominous note in the clothing trunk. Jessi deduces that it was Sam who did these things, but she makes no effort to tell Karen that, instead letting her think that it is proof the house is haunted. Great baby-sitting right there.

Dawn goes to another meeting of the We <3 Kids Club and thinks about how California is much more her style because the kids are more relaxed and eat health food. She wants to stay in California forever...or at least, maybe she does. She goes home and talks to her dad about staying, then makes a list of pros and cons about California vs. Connecticut.

Another random chapter where Kristy and Mallory babysit the gross Pikes. Mrs. Pike orders them to feed the kids canned ravioli and homemade coleslaw for lunch. That combination doesn't even sound good. Even Byron, the fatty triplet, complains about it. Adam mixes the two foods together and announces that they look like snake guts. I don't know why ravioli and coleslaw mixed together would look more like snake guts than any other kind of guts, but I guess it does. The triplets are being mean to Nicky and Nicky is upset. He talks to Kristy and says he misses Dawn. Dawn kind of misses him, too.

Dawn makes her decision. She is going to go back to Connecticut. When you even miss the gross Pikes, it is clear that your home is now Stoneybrook. She calls her mom and cries and tells her that she had considered staying, which doesn't surprise Sharon at all.

On the flight home, Dawn is on a flight with the same flight attendant who ruined her last flight, so she moves across the aisle to another section. Sharon brings the whole baby-sitters club to meet Dawn at the airport. She is glad to be home.

I don't even hate Dawn in this book and I enjoy reading all the descriptions of the things she does on her vacation. My score: 7/10.

Mystery #10, Stacey and the Mystery Money

This is one of the mysteries I don't particularly care for. I'd say it's because young teenagers have no business trying to investigate counterfeiters, or because the plot is contrived, but really, the more I do these recaps, the more I realize I just find Stacey boring except in the book where she quits the club and the book where she goes to a concert with girls who sneak wine in their socks.

Stacey is going to babysit for her favorite kid, Charlotte. They are going to go downtown and have lunch and do some shopping. Charlotte is very excited about this and feels very grown-up. They go into the Merry-Go-Round and Stacey finds some earrings she wants, but when she goes to pay for them, the cashier thinks the $10 bill Stacey gives her is counterfeit. She calls the police.

This is the scene depicted on the front cover. First of all, I always pictured the Merry-Go-Round as a much more casual type of shop, not a gold-jewelry-locked-in-glass-cases place. Secondly, what the hell is Charlotte wearing? Is this what the illustrator honestly thought 8-year olds were wearing in 1993 when this book was published? I mean, yes, the text does say that Charlotte is excited about the lunch and shopping and is a little dressed up, but she looks like she's dressed to step into a time machine and go to 1953 to eat.

The cops show up and ask some questions and say that the bill is fake and that Stacey will need to come to the station with them. Then and only then does Stacey call her mother, and it's only because she wants her mom to watch Charlotte until her parents are done with work. Stacey's mother is like "sure, whatever, take my minor child to the station with you and interrogate her without her parent or a lawyer present, that's fine." This is a stupid move on Stacey's mother's part, I'm just throwing that out there. Charlotte  is really upset because she thinks Stacey is getting arrested. Stacey tries to reassure her but it doesn't really work. Stacey goes to the police station and tells her story several times.

Kristy babysits a new client, Georgie Hoyt. Georgie is 8 and has an older brother and sister, twins who are in 8th grade. The twins are named Terry and Tasha. Stacey has a crush on Terry, and apparently he likes her back, because he invites her on a date. While she's babysitting for Georgie, Kristy finds a school ID with Tasha Hoyt's picture on it but a different name, but doesn't know why it might be there. 

The club has a special Saturday morning get-together (at which Claudia is wearing tie-dyed pajamas) and Kristy is kind of a cow to Stacey.  She's worried that news might get out to their clients that one of them passed a fake bill, and it would be bad for business. I don't know why I even like Kristy, because she is really kind of a bitch to most of her friends a lot of the time. The club decides that they will try to solve the counterfeiting mystery, to clear Stacey's name.


At school on Monday, the girls use lunchtime to go to the library and research counterfeiting. While they are there, they see Alan Gray and a couple of other boys standing by the dictionaries and snickering. Kristy rolls her eyes and says they're probably just looking up dirty words. This little detail is amusing to me.

After school, the club goes to the public library and also to the police station. The officer they speak with at the police station tells them to stay out of it and let the professionals catch the criminals. This is sound advice which naturally is ignored completely. 

Jessi babysits for Becca and Charlotte. Charlotte is still worried about Stacey so Jessi tells her about what the club is doing and Charlotte wants to help. I mean it's goddamn stupid enough that 11- and 13-year olds are trying to catch criminals, but dragging 8 year olds into it is not a quality I would be looking for in a babysitter.  Jessi, Charlotte, and Becca stake out copy machines around town because they think the counterfeiters may be making copies of money on copy machines in public places.  They see one of the teachers from the middle school using a copier and remember that Stacey had seen him the other day, which makes him a suspect. You know, because teachers have utterly zero reason to use a copy machine aside from being counterfeiters. It's not like they might need to copy anything for class, amirite?

Stacey goes on her date to the movies with Terry, and afterward, they go out to eat with Mary Anne and Logan. Stacey notices that Terry references living in at least half a dozen cities, and she thinks he might have said different middle names when introducing himself to her mother and then to Mary Anne. Who introduces themselves by their full name anyway is what I want to know. Then Mary Anne and Logan leave, and Stacey's ex-boyfriend comes in with his new girlfriend, which is awkward.

At the club meeting, Kristy says that she thinks the Hoyts are the counterfeiters because they've lived a lot of places and Georgie didn't want her to open a closet in their house when she sat for him. Everyone but Stacey is like "oh, maybe".

The girls follow their english teacher around school and spy on him because this book is stupid. And long.

Stacey babysits for Charlotte again and they go stake out copiers and then they leave and see a man running through a parking lot and he drops a bag that is filled with counterfeit money. For some ungodly fucking reason, Stacey decides that the person to call in this situation is not the cops, but her friends and Terry Hoyt. The kids all come and wait in the parking lot for the counterfeiter to come back for the money and then they take his photo to give to the police. Because that is a much better idea than calling the police in the first fucking place. At least Stacey has the brains to take Jessi up on her offer to take Charlotte to her house to play with Becca instead of staking out criminals.

Terry Hoyt tells Stacey that they don't need to take the photo of the bad guy to the cops. They can just take it to his dad. It turns out his dad is a Secret Service agent who moves from place to place investigating counterfeiters. The pictures help him catch the criminal, he lectures Stacey for getting involved in the first place (THANK you), then Stacey says goodbye to Terry (real name: David Hawthorne) and he kisses her and the Hoyts move away.

Good lord this book is fucking stupid. And boring. My score: 1/10.